Tonight, one of my friends asked me if I had told Paul about a conversation she and I had had. She was going through some personal stuff, and I was upset after talking to her. So what do I do? Stuff it? Brood on it? No, I talked to my husband about it.
I tell everyone - the moment they say, "Don't tell anyone, but...." I interrupt and say, "I will tell Paul about it, but I won't tell anyone else." I have always told people that, including this friend.
I have always thought that keeping secrets from your spouse is a bad practice to start - I don't care what the secret is about. Picture it as a progression.... If you don't tell him about this thing that you're bothered by, then it's easier to keep something else from him, and soon you have marriage problems based on all the things you're not telling each other. I just don't even want to get there, so we've never kept anything from each other.
Even silly stuff - like the other day, I was bothered by the way a new male acquaintance greeted me. It just felt too familiar. I considered not saying anything; I didn't want Paul to think I was trying to make him jealous. I figured it was best to be straight up.
We don't keep secrets. And I don't apologize. I'm proud of that fact.