Monday, November 30, 2009
And in case the title wasn't obvious, this is the beginning of a rambling, random post.
I started my Christmas shopping today, by buying a present for... myself. I received some money as a gift, with the stipulation that I use it to buy something FOR MYSELF, so I bought a under-cabinet radio for the kitchen. We have a gigantic mid-90s CD stereo in there now, up on top of the fridge. I'm going to send that out to the shop (Merry Christmas, Paul!). Unfortunately, this means I'm going to have to clean that greasy dirt off the top of the fridge that I've been successfully ignoring for the last.... I don't want to admit how long.
By the way, I do have a Christmas present bought for Paul already. I've had it for weeks. (Surprised I could keep my mouth shut, dear?) I think I've got the rest of his gift figured out. We're still discussing Nathan's.... But keeping it simple/practical - we've got too many toys in this house as is. I'm thinking jeans, work gloves, and maybe some toy tools to "help" Paul (that can be kept outside?). Jacob is just getting a "Baby's First Christmas" ornament. (And that's all we got Nathan for his first Christmas, too, so don't think we're chincing.)
Jacob has been ten types of fussy today. He has had some gross spit-up (he normally doesn't spit up much), but he hasn't been kicking like he seems to do when he's got gas. He wants to nurse ALL THE TIME. He's got to be going through a growth spurt.
Tomorrow I'm taking Jacob to a urologist. I haven't wanted to mention this, but since we're all adults, I will. (I will not be mentioning this happening after he turns about two however - I don't want him getting a nickname like a guy my dad went to high school with.) Jacob has an undescended testicle. Not a big deal, and fairly common. The appointment is to make sure that there IS a second one. Assuming there is, they give it a year to come down on it's own, and if it doesn't he'll have to have surgery to bring it down. An undescended testicle can become cancerous is the reason for the surgery.
We spent Thanksgiving in Medicine Lodge with Paul's family - mainly we wanted to be sure to get some time with his grandpa. He was diagnosed with skin cancer this fall, and there's evidence it's spreading. He also has a heart condition, so.... When a grandparent is over 85, every chance you get to see them is precious.
It was a good time. Jacob doesn't travel well, and didn't sleep well at all. (Up every hour one night, every 20 minutes the next.) But Paul's parents came down Friday and Saturday and they watched the boys for us so we could take a nap. However, Jacob has slept 5 hour stretches both nights since we've been home. Unfortunately that 5 hour stretch is followed by an up-every-hour marathon until sunrise.
My boss brought me Sonic Dr. Pepper and a container of puppy chow this morning. She loves me. (Or hates me....) I practiced extreme self control, let me tell you, by dumping half of the DP down the drain. Caffeine effects Jacob (maybe that's his problem today.....), so I didn't want to OD - as much as I needed to.
Project Less TV went well....ish today. He watched one video this morning (Thomas), one this afternoon (Bob), and is watching a Baby Einstein right now. I did turn on PBS for about a half hour (maybe an hour?) this morning when I was babysitting and the three boys were at each others' throats. So not great, but better. (Rather than watching 3 hours in the morning and afternoon both. and then a video or two in the evening before bed.)
I read most of Cheaper by the Dozen while in ML.... It is hillarious! My mom read it to us during school one year, but I hadn't read it since then. I don't know why I found it so amusing - maybe because I can see myself being that type of parent. You all should definitely go borrow it from the library - it's a light read and will have you smiling.
This weekend is our church's Bethlehem production. Paul and I were supposed to be Joseph and Mary Saturday and Sunday nights, but he just found out he has to work both nights. (Which means he is working straight through from tonight to at least next Friday without a day off. Lovely.) He can't get either night off because there are other supervisors already scheduled for vacation (pansies can't handle working all these weekends). Sunday he doesn't have to go in until later, so I'm going to talk to the other couple who was thankfully able to fill in, and see if they're willing to switch or do tag-team.
Paul and I were talking.... His schedule since July has been totally up in the air. They start the week thinking they'll be working a certain number of days/hours, then it changes. He's had days off, but they've been sporadic and he didn't know when they were coming (with the exception of Jacobs birth, and Thanksgiving vacation - but even then they were talking about having them come in Saturday). I'm not complaining about the overtime pay, but it would be nice to know when he's going to be home on a weekend. He hasn't played with us for praise and worship since August.
I downloaded some sheet music for some new Christmas songs yesterday. I was playing one on the piano today and singing, trying to figure out if it was church-singable. ("All Creation Sing/Joy to the World" by Fee) I finished it up, and Nathan, who had been playing with his farm set, started clapping and yelled "YAY!" I guess that is his vote of approval, at least.
Our neighbor was finally able to harvest the field across from our house today (it has been too wet). Of course, Nathan realizing there was a combine in such close proximity to our house necessitated a wagon ride. I hauled Nathan a half of a mile in the wagon while carrying Jacob (aka Chunkadelic) in the sling. I definitely felt like I'd worked for that "stroll". It was so nice to be able to get outside and enjoy the weather on the last day of November.... About the last nice day for a while, it sounds. But the haul was totally worth it, just to see Nathan watching with big eyes and proclaiming in a "deep" toddler voice, "BIG COMBINE." (So hillarious the way he says it!)
Well, my goal today was to get one room clean. Failed. Well, not actually. I said my goal was one room, and meant to clean the kitchen. As far as I got there was unloading the dishwasher and putting about 5 dirty dishes back in it. But I did clean the living room. This was necessitated by my pldest son absolutely wrecking it this afternoon - it was picked up, maybe not spotless, but pretty clean, when the boys left at noon. But it was so bad by bedtime that I couldn't walk through it without stepping on something. So it got picked up and vaccuumed. (And I could be cleaning the kitchen right now, but for some reason would rather sit here and blog..... I'm also nursing Jacob [talent unbounded, let me tell ya], so that's my excuse.)
Holy cow - did I mention Jacob was fussy? I haven't been able to leave him for 5 minutes this evening! I think he's asleep, I leave him snuggled up in the Boppy or in his swing, and leave the room, only to have him screaming 2 minutes later. As soon as I pick him up he stops. Then I nurse him and he falls asleep and we start all over. He was asleep for maybe 20 minutes (I was hoping it was going to be for several hours, though), which allowed me to get the living room done, but not get Nathan in bed. I had to do bedtime story and prayers with little one attached to my boob. (As much as I hate to admit it, it's probably lingering effects of that Dr. Pepper this morning.)
Okay, this is getting way too long.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
I'm supposed to be cleaning house and packing to leave for four days. As soon as Paul gets home, we're leaving for Medicine Lodge to see his grandpa, aunt and uncle, and cousins for Thanksgiving.
So I'd better get to it....
And PS - I would just like to let you know that I can now [kind of] fit into 3 pairs of my non-maternity jeans. :)
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Just ignore how un-flattering this picture is of me. That's not what we're focusing on.Can you see Nathan's face? That pretty much sums it up.
He bumped his mouth on the armrest of the pew as we went up front. It wasn't a bad bump, and definitely didn't warrant the sobbing he was doing, but that's what started it.
In the picture, he was sobbing, "Mommy! Mommy!" So we did a baby shuffle - I passed Jacob to Janice, then took Nathan from Paul, then Janice handed Jacob to Paul. I tried to get Nathan to quiet down with his sippy of milk - works every time at home, but didn't do a thing this time. He wailed the whole time we were up there. I'm assuming it's because we were up in front of all those people, and they were all watching, but still....
I didn't hear a thing the pastor said, because Nathan screamed the entire time. I took him out as soon as Pastor was finished (and of course, this is the Sunday the media team didn't record the sermon!). As we walked out the back door, Nathan abruptly changed his tune, "Daddy! Daddy!" (I think he knew what was coming.)
But it got me to thinking.... Double meaning of baby dedication: We were dedicating our baby to the Lord.... To raise him according to the Biblical principles and to teach him to love God. But we are also dedicating ourselves to our babies - to love them no matter what, to discipline them when they need it, and to be there for them.
And some days, it takes more dedication than others.
Monday, November 16, 2009
We don't have a scale, so I'm not sure where I am with my post-baby weight loss. Two weeks ago, I'd lost about half the weight I'd gained. I think I've lost a bit more, but I've been having major PMS-style munchie attacks, so I'm sure I'm not down to where I should be by now. I'm close to being able to fit back into my pre-preggers clothes, but not close enough to dare wearing them in public. (I'm definitely going to have to do some work on my abs this time around.)
I ruthlessly purged my closet this spring, shortly after breaking out the maternity clothes. Apparently at the time, I got rid of most of my good dress shirts (since I don't work anymore, the only thing I dress up for is church pretty much). (Hmm... I just thought about this.... Maybe I should check the ironing pile....) I have only two shirts that currently fit (and only a couple more that I'm not fitting into yet), and I've worn them both to church since having Jacob. So I decided to go buy a new shirt for Jacob's baby dedication.
Our town only has one clothing store - Maurice's - besides WalMart (I don't leave town to go shopping unless absolutely necessary). I quit shopping at WalMart during high school, due to their inability to carry clothes that fit me or that last. (I think they've gotten better, but I still don't shop there - at least not often, and definitely not for "nice" clothes.)
So last Friday, I headed out to Maurice's to find myself a top. I was excited, because they recently started carrying plus sizes, up to size 24, so I knew they'd have clothes in my size (instead of my size being the biggest they carry). (And by "recently" I mean "since last time I shopped there" which may very well have been before Nathan was born.)
This was such a frustrating experience on so many levels:
- Instead of being one size larger than I was pre-babies, I am two sizes larger. (Blow to the ego.)
- But not totally. Just enough bigger than an XL that it doesn't look good, but not big enough to get an XXL to hang right on me.
- And add to that, I have to buy the larger size knowing (hoping) that in a couple months it won't fit me at all. I don't like spending money.
- All styles aren't available in all sizes. The "plus-size" is a separate section, and I didn't like any of the styles they had. (Actually not the styles (cut) so much as the fabric designs/types they chose to use.)
- Maurice's is a pretty trendy store. For the most part, the dressy tops tend to have random pieces of draping fabric, bangles, beads, straps or other oddities. Or one of those banded bottoms that I'm terrified to even try on, as I'm afraid it will make my backside look even larger.
- There were a handful of tops that I liked, but they didn't have them in big enough sizes. Seriously - I've heard the average woman in America is size 14. So why don't they carry the MOST of that size (which would be an XL), instead of carrying two of XL (which immediately sell), and 40 of size medium?
I ended up with two tops I liked - a green satin one and a purple super-stretchy cowl-neck sweater. I did have a coupon for 20% off (that I'm pretty sure was about four years old, but it didn't have an expiration date).
It ended up being too cold (and windy and rainy) on Sunday for Jacob's dedication to wear the green shirt (it was short-sleeve). It was one of the ones I was in-between sizes, so I'm thinking I'll hold on to it for another month or two (leave the tags on), and by then I'll hopefully have lost enough weight to fit into the smaller size.
I guess I should be glad I wasn't shopping for pants. I don't even want to think about how many sizes larger my backside has gotten.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Last night the boys double-teamed me with fusiness and crying. For an hour. That was not fun. And compound the problem: Jacob wanted to nurse because he was fussy, and Nathan wanted to snuggle because he was fussy. So I'd switch back and forth - hold one on my lap and set the other one next to me and pat him.
Luckily tonight we didn't have that problem.
However, we did have a Mommy/Nathan showdown. Nathan insists on being carried up the stairs (and down, too, half the time). He is getting heavy. Not heavy enough I can't carry him, but heavy enough that if he made a sudden move while I had him on the stairs, I'd drop him, and he (and maybe me, too) would fall down the very steep, very hard stairs.
So tonight I told him he had to walk upstairs. Long story short.... After about 10 swats and much crying, he finally made it to the top of the stairs. I feel like I should feel bad for standing my ground, but I truly believe that I have to show him that I mean business.... When I tell him to do something, I expect to be obeyed, or there will be consequenses. I've been a marshmellow too long when it comes to getting by with things, and that has got to change.
I can tell already that he's starting to test me to see if I'll stick to my guns. Sure, it's not on the same level an adolescent would test a parent, but I want my (and Paul's) authority to be recognized before we get to that stage.
Anyhow. Off that little bunny trail.
It hasn't been horrible without Paul here at night, but it's definitely easier with two parents. And apparently I'm incapable of going to bed before midnight if he's gone.
It's only 11 now, so I really should get headed that way.... Sooner or later this not sleeping enough at night is going to catch up with me.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
- The milky smell of his breath.
- Kissing his soft chubby cheeks.
- Patting his tiny tushie as he curls up against my chest.
- Stroking his tiny hands and fingers as he lays them against me while he nurses.
- The silky smooth feeling of his skin.
- Watching him sleep.
And those are just the things I can think of right now. I'm totally enjoying being a Mommy of two. And whereas I spend much of my time holding or nursing Jacob, I'm still having some sweet times cudding and visiting with Nathan. I love my boys!
Monday, November 9, 2009
Our son is not very free with his affections. He does okay with hugs, but mostly only to parents and grandparents, and either flat out refuses kisses, or will only incline the top of his head toward you. Absolutely no mouth kisses.
Saturday I was sitting on the couch teasing him, asking him, "Can you.....[fill in the blank]?" So I threw in "Can you.... Say 'I love you'?" And he said "I love you," with a big grin. My heart went pitter-patter. I'd waited so long to hear those words.
So imagine how much my heart melted tonight when Paul was putting his boots on to go to work, and Nathan walked over to him and out of the blue said, "I love you, Daddy."
Paul looked up and said, "What did you say?" And Nathan repeated it, "I love you, Daddy."
Paul beamed a smile over at me then said to Nathan, "Ah, I love you, too. Can you give Daddy a hug and kiss?" Nathan ran over to him and gave him both - a kiss on the mouth even!
I didn't ask him, but I'm pretty sure that made Paul's night. Definitely gave him something to smile about during his 12-hour shift.
And as much as I'd love to hear the phrase with "Mommy" on the end, I am really glad that Paul got the first spontaneous "I love you." He deserves it - he's such a good Daddy.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
I have to say, I'm doing much better with the lack of sleep this time around.... So far. Probably the fact that I never really got out of the habit of waking up in the middle of the night with Nathan. Or the fact that I had been practicing for weeks before actually giving birth with middle-of-the-night trips to the bathroom. (And then getting back into bed and needing to pee again immediately.)
Jacob is chubbing up nicely. His little cheeks are so soft. He's got two chins now, and his arms and legs are plumping up - not so much loose skin. (And once again, I can take all the credit for that!)
Nathan and Paul got over their disease, just in time for allergies to strike Paul and I. Ugh. Headache. All. The. Time. I can't take anything for it except Tylenol, as sinus medication is off-limits when you're nursing. Bleh.
Well, I hear some incredibly adorable hiccupping coos coming from the bassinet, so I must go investigate. I'll attempt to blog again later.