Thursday, May 30, 2013

Encounter: My Label Is Not My Identity

A month later, I'm finally getting around to writing this post.

The Encounter ministry has changed our lives.  It has changed Paul so much - and since he is the leader of our house, we all have changed.  Specifically, our spiritual lives have encountered the most change, which in turn has changed how we live the rest of our lives.  After Paul attended his third Encounter, he strongly encouraged me to go to the Women's Encounter.
I was excited to go - maybe as much because it would be the first time EVER that I've been away from the kids by myself.  (Admittedly, maybe a little guilty and nervous about this as well.)  And, lets face it - after a year of nursing.... I was ready to not have a baby hanging off of me.  I probably knew a little too much of the behind the scenes stuff, what was going to happen, from how Paul has been involved, and me helping him, but I still enjoyed my time very much.  I came back feeling refreshed, confident, and renewed.
The thing that hit me the most powerfully, and I can't explain why, is this:  My labels are not my identity.  My labels are good things!  Wife, Mother, Worship Leader....  Nothing I'm ashamed of.  Maybe that's why it was hard for me?  My good things aren't what matters; I'm not earning God's love by being good.  He loves me because I'm His, He made me, He died for me.
I have what I feel is a healthy sense of self-confidence.  I'm not always striving, always seeking.  I have a peace about who I am and where I am in life, and what I have.  So to be hit powerfully by this message of self worth was surprising to me.
But I got to thinking....  What if my labels weren't good things?  What if my labels were Liar, Adulterer, Thief, Drug Addict?  You know what?  God still would think the same of me.
Maybe some would have a problem with this message - "What?!  I've worked all my life to be good, and you're telling me that it doesn't matter?  God loves me, with all my Spiritual Achievements, as much as he loves her?  Do you KNOW what she's done???"
But that isn't the feeling I get.  It makes me feel so good to know that His love is like that.  Because it means if I fail, and I don't measure up, He's still going to love me.
I hope these ramblings make sense.  I'll close with the lyrics of a song....

"Remind Me Who I Am"

by Jason Gray

When I lose my way,
And I forget my name,
Remind me who I am.
In the mirror all I see,
Is who I don't wanna be,
Remind me who I am.
In the loneliest places,
When I can't remember what grace is.

Tell me once again who I am to You,
Who I am to You.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You,
That I belong to You.
To You.

When my heart is like a stone,
And I'm running far from home,
Remind me who I am.
When I can't receive Your love,
Afraid I'll never be enough,
Remind me who I am.
If I'm Your beloved,
Can You help me believe it.

Tell me once again who I am to You,
Who I am to You, whoa.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You.
That I belong to You.
To You.

I'm the one you love,
I'm the one you love,
That will be enough,
I'm the one you love.

Tell me once again who I am to You.
Who I am to You.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You,
That I belong to You, oh.

Tell me once again who I am to You.
Who I am to You.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You,
That I belong to You.
To You.

So that's what I got from my Encounter.  There is another Women's Encounter coming up the end of July, and I'd like to see some of the ladies that I know personally go.  I'm hoping to be there myself.  The next one for men is in September.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

And Now for a Brief Word from Our Sponsors......

Oh my gosh, I can't believe it's been 3 weeks since I've posted.  Really, since I've even thought about my blog, even.
We've got sunshine, kittens (oh my gosh, please make them go away!), and flowers.  Who has time for internet??
It's been awesome around here.  Despite snow on the 2nd of May (yes, snow), and a brief stint of too-hot weather in the low 90s, we've had some perfect springtime weather.  The kids have been outside constantly, and we're in full on shorts and barefoot season.  Thankfully it's dried out a little bit, so we're not doing multiple wardrobe changes a day anymore.
Zadie has figured out how to toddle her way out to the play set.  She can climb the ladder to the slide platform on her own.  I was cleaning the kitchen, and I noticed her on the ladder (five steps, 4-foot-tall or so) and hustled out there, trying to not frighten or distract her from holding on. "Nathan!  Get behind Zadie so she doesn't fall down!"
"Oh, she's gone up the ladder and down the slide all by herself!"
I still try to pay attention, but it's been 2 weeks, and she has yet to fall down.  She's happy and entertained, and I'm getting the kitchen cleaned.
We found 5 kittens a few weeks ago.  We knew they were somewhere, because our basketball-shaped mama kitty became thin as a rail overnight.  A week or two later we found three more from another litter.  Then Sunday we found two more - no clue who these belong to, because now all the litters have congregated under the deck, and the mothers nurse them interchangeably.  PLEASE MAKE IT STOP RAINING KITTENS.  Ugh.  We had like 8 cats to begin with, from last year's population explosion.  This is beyond way too many.
We're almost done with school.  We've kind of stalled out.  It's tough to make them do school when it's so beautiful out....  I am a firm believer that kids - boys, especially - learn by doing.  So I want them to be able to play and explore.  But we do have an amount of work that needs to be done at the table as well.  He's done with his math, and all the reading/phonics I think he needs for the year.  We just can't quite finish up his science book.  We've got about 5 lessons left, and my goal is to have it finished by the end of May.  Part of the procrastination about finishing is the fact we won't really be "finished."  I'm going to make him do something all summer, probably switch on and off - a day of reading, a day of math.  The reading I know we'd take a major step back if we let him take a break.
The first of the month was unusually cool and wet, so my garden stalled.  However, I just don't think my beans are going to come up.  So confused about them.  I used these seeds last spring (they're old), and they didn't come up.  I used them again in the fall, and they came up beautifully.  Thankfully, those seeds are all gone, so no more mystery adventure plantings.  We still need to get tomatoes planted (I keep forgetting to go buy the plants!), but otherwise, we're mostly planted.  (Besides obviously needing to replant the beans.)
Since we had cool weather, our flowers are delayed coming out, but the blooms are lasting a lot longer, and I'm loving it!  I'm slowly getting my beds weeded, what hasn't been trampled by kids and kittens.
Anyhow.  Speaking of cats, the boys left the door open, so I need to chase a crumb-sniffing mama cat outside.
Enjoy the day!

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Love.


I came across this while perusing photos on our computer.  It's from last August, so it's been a while since it was taken.  It was cookie delivery day.  (Once a month I make treats for Paul's shift.  This time we took them up instead of Paul taking them with him.)  
And note Nathan's "uniform" - he wanted to dress like Daddy to go see him at work.
I love them!