Quote to Consider:

Success is not helping our kids be what they want to be. Success is helping our kids be what God wants them to be.


-Rob Rienow
God's Grand Vision for the Home

Time to Vacuum

When your baby rolls over, and her back looks like the top of an "everything" bagel, you know it's time to vacuum.


(The quote isn't original to me, it's something I saw on Facebook once. And am probably mis-quoting.)

Do We Have the Time?

When parents are saying “I don’t have any time” to minister to youth, and the older generation is saying, “I’ve served my time” teaching kids, it leaves a generation of young people saying, “If nobody thinks it’s important enough to make the time, maybe this whole God thing isn’t worth my time.”

Quote to Consider:

If  you reach a child, there is a 15% chance of reaching the family for Christ.
If you reach the mother, there is a 30% chance of reaching the family for Christ.
If you reach a teen, there is a 50% chance of reaching the family for Christ.
But if you reach the father, there is a 92% chance of reaching the family for Christ.
In light of this, why are churches not actively finding ministries to reach fathers?

--Heard on Intentional Living, quoting the leader of Arizona Promise Keepers

(Whereas I'm almost positive I have the percentages correct, I'm not sure this is the exact wording.  I have not been able to find the statistic in print through Google.)

Quote to Consider

What's down in the well will come up in the bucket. 
--attributed to Dr. Adrian Rogers



Luke 6:45 - "A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart."

Quotes to Consider:

A stream without banks becomes a swamp. It is your job as parents to build the channel in which the stream will run.  
--Dr. James Dobson, Bringing Up Boys

Quote to Consider:

If He [God] were small enough to be understood, He wouldn't be big enough to be worshiped.

-David Jeremiah
"I Don't Know and That's Okay"
from the September 2014 issue of Turning Points Magazine and Devotional

Quote to Consider:

"[My mom] taught me that parenting is a lot like giving a hug:  It's all about love and pressure, and there's no one way to do it."

---"Big Shoes to Fill" (April 2014 Reader's Digest)
by Charles M. Blow, from the New York Times

The Homeschool Pool

As you are all aware by now, we homeschool, and I have some pretty strong opinions about why we do it. 
A while back I read a blog by a dad who was responding to a reader who argued against homeschooling.  I don't know anything about this author, but one analogy of his article stuck with me. 

You say that homeschooled kids aren’t properly socialized.

I give you this: with the exception of about 14 thousand other times, this is the first time I’ve ever heard this argument.

It’s an argument that seems to march on, even after its been disproven, discredited, deconstructed, and decapitated. I just promised to stop tossing around studies, so I won’t link to an article (here) that cites at least two different studies proving your assertion to be a myth.

I’ll only say that you chose a pretty strange analogy to prove your point. You can’t teach a child to swim without bringing him to a pool? I agree. But do you bring a child to the pool, drop him there with a thousand other kids, then come back 6 hours later, and repeat that process every day, five days a week, for the next 12 to 13 years? Or do you bring him to the pool, hang out with him, maybe even get in the water and play some Marco Polo, and then leave with him after a couple of hours?

I can tell you this: if you decide to just abandon your kid at the pool for hours and hours and hours on end, every day, for over a decade, he probably won’t do a lot of swimming. If he doesn’t drown (drowning is a very real possibility, especially if there’s only one lifeguard for every 40 kids), he’ll likely spend more time playing on his iPhone and smoking pot in the bathroom than learning the backstroke.

You say that homeschooled kids aren’t properly socialized.
I give you this: with the exception of about 14 thousand other times, this is the first time I’ve ever heard this argument.
It’s an argument that seems to march on, even after its been disproven, discredited, deconstructed, and decapitated. I just promised to stop tossing around studies, so I won’t link to an article (here) that cites at least two different studies proving your assertion to be a myth.
I’ll only say that you chose a pretty strange analogy to prove your point. You can’t teach a child to swim without bringing him to a pool? I agree. But do you bring a child to the pool, drop him there with a thousand other kids, then come back 6 hours later, and repeat that process every day, five days a week, for the next 12 to 13 years? Or do you bring him to the pool, hang out with him, maybe even get in the water and play some Marco Polo, and then leave with him after a couple of hours?
I can tell you this: if you decide to just abandon your kid at the pool for hours and hours and hours on end, every day, for over a decade, he probably won’t do a lot of swimming. If he doesn’t drown (drowning is a very real possibility, especially if there’s only one lifeguard for every 40 kids), he’ll likely spend more time playing on his iPhone and smoking pot in the bathroom than learning the backstroke.

Read more at http://themattwalshblog.com/2014/04/25/behold-the-two-absolutely-worst-arguments-against-homeschooling/#LMESHKTGof8crw0B.99

You say that homeschooled kids aren’t properly socialized.
I give you this: with the exception of about 14 thousand other times, this is the first time I’ve ever heard this argument.
It’s an argument that seems to march on, even after its been disproven, discredited, deconstructed, and decapitated. I just promised to stop tossing around studies, so I won’t link to an article (here) that cites at least two different studies proving your assertion to be a myth.
I’ll only say that you chose a pretty strange analogy to prove your point. You can’t teach a child to swim without bringing him to a pool? I agree. But do you bring a child to the pool, drop him there with a thousand other kids, then come back 6 hours later, and repeat that process every day, five days a week, for the next 12 to 13 years? Or do you bring him to the pool, hang out with him, maybe even get in the water and play some Marco Polo, and then leave with him after a couple of hours?
I can tell you this: if you decide to just abandon your kid at the pool for hours and hours and hours on end, every day, for over a decade, he probably won’t do a lot of swimming. If he doesn’t drown (drowning is a very real possibility, especially if there’s only one lifeguard for every 40 kids), he’ll likely spend more time playing on his iPhone and smoking pot in the bathroom than learning the backstroke.

Read more at http://themattwalshblog.com/2014/04/25/behold-the-two-absolutely-worst-arguments-against-homeschooling/#LMESHKTGof8crw0B.99

I think he could have been just a bit more respectful in his response, although I understand when defenses go up about something you're passionate about.
Anyhow.  I just thought this analogy perfectly summed up my thoughts on why we are homeschooling, and that maybe you all would enjoy it as well.

(You can find the whole article here:  The Matt Walsh Blog:  "Behold:  the two absolutely worst arguments against homeschooling")

Quotes to Consider:

Truth sounds like hate, to those that hate the truth.
-Phil Robertson

Quote to Consider:

When we pray something "in Jesus' name," we better make sure we're praying something we want to sign His name to.
--Beth Moore, in the video teaching for Believing God

Encounter Reunion Teaching: Husbands and Wives

A couple weeks ago, I spoke at a reunion for Encounter attendees.  We invited the attendees and families of anyone who has went to an Encounter in this area.  I am definitely not a public speaker, so it wasn't polished like it may seem in writing.  A couple people said they wished they had heard it, or that they thought I should share it again, so here it is.....

So, to warn you, a prerequisite for speaking at Women’s Encounter is crying.  Just so you know.  I don’t do public speaking, at least not to groups of people older than 6.  So I’ll probably lose it.

My name is Rachel Rhodes.  My husband is Paul.  We've been married for 10 years, and we have 4 kids.  Nathan, our oldest, is 6.  Jacob is 4.  Then we have Zadie, who will be two next month, and our youngest is Gideon, who was born in December.

I went to my first Encounter last April, almost a year ago.  Ladies (well.... and guys!), if you haven't been to Encounter, I really encourage you to go.  It's hard to describe what Encounter is.  It's not really a "retreat."  It's not really a "conference."  It really is an "Encounter" - a time for you to get away from your normal and encounter God.  For me, it was just a really great time of refreshing my soul.  At that point in my life, I was giving a lot, and not getting a lot put back in.

In my life, I'm surrounded by "Christian."  I grew up in a Christian home, went to a Christian school, worked at a Christian bookstore, married a Christian husband, go to this Christian church, volunteer at Christian ministries, etc.  I knew I would get something out of Encounter, but what knocked me over was something totally surprising to me:  a teaching on True Worth.  

It's hard for me to put into words exactly what was impressed on my heart that weekend, but I think I can sum it up in this:

I don't think I'm one that struggles with self-image.  I know who I am; I know what I am; I am completely content.  I am a wife, mom, and at the time I went, a worship leader.  Good things.  But it struck me that God doesn't care if I'm good.  My good things don't matter to Him.  I think part of the reason this struck me is because all my life I've worked to be good.  I know you can't earn God's love, but maybe on some level I thought He'd love me more since I tried so hard.  But He doesn't love me because I'm good.  He loves me because I am His.  He made me.  He died for me to redeem me and keep me as HIS.  Nothing I can do can make Him love me any more or any less.  This is reassuring because if there’s any time I can’t do those “good” things, He’s not going to love me less.

So that's a little about my Encounter, in a nutshell.  But I have another side of Encounter to talk about:  the side of a wife whose husband has also gone to Encounter.

Paul went to his first Encounter a year and a half ago, in September of 2012.  He has been to 6 since then.

I will admit - Paul's first Encounter, I really more or less nagged him to go.  It was like, "Okay, Dad and JC want you to go to this thing in September.  I know you need it, even if you don't think you do.  You don't have to work that weekend.  You're going."  

Not really the “submissive wife” role.  Oops.

But Paul I think would agree.  It was a good thing I "forced" him to go.  Encounter for him has changed our marriage and our lives.

I have trouble being honest about when we have problems in our marriage.  Everyone has problems at some point, but I feel like to talk about those problems is somehow disrespecting my husband, because I love him and we really do have a great marriage overall.  So this is hard for me.

I won't go into the details of what all has changed, because that is Paul's testimony and not mine.  But I will tell you this:  Ladies, if you want your husband to change, all of your nagging and crying in the world isn't going to do it.  It has to be his decision to change, and it has to be God that puts it in his heart that it's time to change. 

I think all of us want our husbands to change at some point, for one reason or another.  And sometimes we're not nice about it:  "You need to get your crap together, and you need to do it now, on my time schedule, the way I say you should do it."  Sometimes I wish it worked that way, but that's not how it goes. (And this is not to say I don't continue to have outbursts where I talk to Paul this way.  It's a process....)

 And most guys I know - my husband included - shut down when their wives start after them in that way.  Oh, they may change for a while to keep the peace, but it's not a lasting change. Most of the things that are different since Paul’s Encounter are things that I had tried and tried for all of our marriage to get Paul to do.  He would change for a while, to make me happy, but then slowly shift back to the same old ways.  But since his Encounter, he made the choice to change, because he knew it was GOD that wanted the change.

Okay, so remember I told you Paul had been to 7 Encounters?  What follows Encounter?  Seven weeks of...... Post Encounters.  So for him, that's 49 weeks in the last year and a half that he's had Post Encounter meetings to go to.  

 I don't know how many of you did your Post Encounters, but I think that those meetings are almost as important as the weekend itself.  But I think a lot of wives guilt their husbands into not going.  They may not mean for it to be that way, but I think that’s how it comes off…. "You had your weekend, and it was good, but I had to watch the kids by myself.  Now you want to leave us alone on our one free night a week for the next two months?"

I have had several times where I’ve forgotten about the meetings.  Paul would be at work all weekend, and I’d think we’d finally have a night together, and he’d remind me a couple hours before he had to leave.  I didn’t say anything to him, but there were times that after he left I’d be fuming while washing dishes, and have to really pray about my attitude.  I’d say, “God, if this is something I need to be upset about and talk to Paul about, let me be able to do that.  If it’s not, then change my attitude.”  And I think every time, by the time he came home, my attitude had changed, and I was happy for him and wanted to hear about how the meeting went.

Ladies, I have a question for you.  Be really honest.  If you knew that giving up one night a week, just 2 or 3 hours a week, would make your husband a better husband, a better father, and a better Christian..... Would you let him go for that time?

As Christians, we’re told to “consider one another’s interests ahead of your own,” and also to “motivate one another to acts of love and good works.” I think this is especially true in marriage.  A lot of times there’s this disconnect in how we treat other Christians and how we treat our spouses.  We think, “oh, I’m supposed to treat my friends at church this way,” but we don’t even consider that our first person we are supposed to be “considering ahead of ourselves” and “motivating” is the person we live with every day!  So we need to support our husbands in what they want to do.  In what we want him to do!  I say I want Paul to be a better Christian and a better leader, and meeting with other Christian men can achieve this!  Since he has started meeting with a men’s Sunday School class, and having weekly meetings with brothers in Christ, the whole spiritual tone of our house has changed. 

Our men need this time together.  The Bible says, "Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."  They are challenging each other, encouraging each other, and keeping each other accountable.  It's a good thing!  But they need our encouragement.  I think sometimes we let them know we want them to lead better, but then just leave them to figure it out on their own.  God made us to be their “helper” and the original word for “helper” is the same as we use when we say “God is our helper.”  We need to support them to meet and have their time with Christian men.  Trust me – and I know  this from experience - even as messed up as it seems, a wife nagging a husband telling him he needs to step up doesn't get his attention like another man telling him he needs to do something.

Okay.  So….  Men.

Maybe you're sitting there and saying, "YES.  This is exactly what my wife needed to hear.  I've been trying to tell her how important Post is to me."

Well.  I've got something for you too.  

This part is really hard for me to get out, because I don’t think that as a woman, I have the right to stand up here and teach men.  But I felt like God wanted me to say these things tonight, so I’m going to try to get through it.  My heart is to try to help you understand what might be going on in your wife’s head.

Ephesians says, "Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church.  He gave up His life for her."

Your time meeting with other men, even though it is very important time, does not come out of "family time" or one-on-one time with your wife.  You can't come home from 3 hours of meeting with other men, being built up, encouragement, prayer.......and then come home and ignore your family because you still think you need your "me" time.  This time with men is your "me" time.  When you come home is your "we" time.  Your family needs you.  Think of it as “on the job training” – you meet together to get the skills you need to lead your family.  I heard a speaker say once that you come home from your paid job, so you can go to your real job.  Your family needs you.  They need you to be present with them and be engaged.  You may have to give something up - TV time, or computer time, or working on a project time - because your family needs your time also.  It’s the most important job that you could ever have.  A lot of men may say, “But I don’t know how to start leading my family.”  The best place to start?  Prayer.  I don’t know very many wives who, when asked, “Can we pray together?” are going to say, “No.” 

I thought I’d tell you how we do it in our house. Paul has a crazy work schedule, working some days and some nights.  The mornings he’s home, he reads the Bible at the kitchen table.  He will pick out a verse that the kids can understand, and call them into the room and say, “Listen to this,” or he’ll ask me my opinion on a passage while the kids are listening.  We talk about what we’ve discussed in our groups, and ask the kids about what they learned at Sunday school.  He reads a kids Bible with the boys every night, and they kneel in the living room to pray.  (This is not because we’re super religious.  We started to help them concentrate – when they sit, they fidgit and look around, so he had them kneel looking at the boring couch.)

“Leading your family” sounds intimidating, but it’s not like teaching an hour-long discourse on the Bible every day.  It’s just as simple as bringing your spiritual life into your family life.  God gave the command in the Old Testament “talk about [the Scripture] when you are at home, and on the road, when you go to bed, and when you get up.”

I know it’s hard to make yourself vulnerable – both as a wife humbly asking her husband to lead, and as a husband making those first attempts to lead – but it has to start somewhere.  Someone has to be willing to take that first step, for the sake of your family.

I hope what I've talked about tonight makes sense, because as a mother of a 3-month-old (and 3 other children), I sometimes feel am not able to communicate above a 1st grade level. (smile)  So I'm going to close tonight with God's word on this topic, because He says it so much better than I do.

  

But first, let's pray.

God, I pray you speak to our hearts.  If there are areas that need to change, reveal them to us.  Open our ears to hear your voice speaking to us through your Word.  Amen.

These are all the verses I mentioned tonight, in their entirety.

Ephesians 5:21-24

And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

Phillipians 2:3-4

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Hebrews 10:24-25

And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Proverbs 27:17

As iron sharpens iron,

so one man sharpens another.

Genesis 2:18

Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”

Psalm 54:4

Surely God is my help;

the Lord is the One who sustains me.

Ephesians 5:25-26

For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.

Deuteronomy 11:18-21

Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth.

Quote to Consider:

God's man, in the center of God's will, is immortal until God is done with him.
-Dr. David Jeremiah


This is not to say, "Hey, I'm living in God's will and am invincible!  Let's go base-jumping!"  (video, in case you don't know what base jumping is) It's more of a, "we can rest in confidence."  Anything that happens is God's will.  I can't escape it, good or bad.

"The LORD is for me; 
I will not fear; 
What can man do to me?" (Psalm 118:6).

Quote to Consider:

Rules without relationship will always equal rebellion.

The only reason you have to scream at your kids is because they know they don't have to take you seriously.

-Dr. Tony Evans


Ouch to the second one.  I'm really bad at not following through. :S

Tomorrow

He was going to be all that a mortal should be
     Tomorrow.
No one should be kinder or braver than he
     Tomorrow.
A friend who was troubled and weary he knew,
Who'd be glad of a lift and who needed it, too;
On him he would call and see what he could do
     Tomorrow.

Each morning he stacked up the letters he'd write
     Tomorrow.
And thought of the folks he would fill with delight
     Tomorrow.
It was too bad, indeed, he was busy today,
And hadn't a minute to stop on his way;
More time he would have to give others, he'd say
     Tomorrow.

The greatest of workers this man would have been
     Tomorrow.
The world would have known him, had he ever seen
     Tomorrow.
But the fact is he died and he faded from view,
And all that he left here when living was through
Was a mountain of things he intended to do
     Tomorrow.


© Edgar Albert Guest. All rights reserved.



(I heard this on Truth for Life with Alistair Begg.  Yeah, it kind of hit home.)

Quote to Consider:

I'm going to say "no" to something that's important to me, so that I can say "yes" to something important to you.
-Dr. David Jeremiah, on giving our kids our time and attention
(but it also applies to marriage, am I right?)

Quote to Consider:

When you go to the beach, you might get "bombed" by a sea gull.  It happens.  It's when you leave it there that you have a problem.
-Pastor Larry Carrier, quoting his youth pastor (1950s? - in California)

Put this in context some of the thoughts we allow in our head.  Get that crap outta there!

Storms in Life

I went to another Women's Encounter in July.  At this one I was a server - I was there to serve and pray for the attendees.  

After Encounters, there is an optional 7 weeks of follow up meetings.  The other server from our group and I have been taking turns leading them for our small group of ladies, and a couple weeks ago, the study was on Conquering Adversity.
I have been listening to Christian talk/teaching radio a lot lately, and there have been several messages on storms and trials in life.  I also have been trying to read a daily devotional, and a couple of them have been about the same subject.  God knew I would be leading the study on the subject, and I know put these teachings in my way to pass along.
The first thing was from the century-old writings of Oswald Chambers in My Utmost for His Highest.  This is the July 28 devotion (in an updated style):

We tend to think that if Jesus Christ compels us to do something and we are obedient to Him, He will lead us to great success. We should never have the thought that our dreams of success are God’s purpose for us. In fact, His purpose may be exactly the opposite. We have the idea that God is leading us toward a particular end or a desired goal, but He is not. The question of whether or not we arrive at a particular goal is of little importance, and reaching it becomes merely an episode along the way. What we see as only the process of reaching a particular end, God sees as the goal itself.What is my vision of God’s purpose for me? Whatever it may be, His purpose is for me to depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in me. God is not working toward a particular finish— His purpose is the process itself. What He desires for me is that I see “Him walking on the sea” with no shore, no success, nor goal in sight, but simply having the absolute certainty that everything is all right because I see “Him walking on the sea” (Mark 6:49). It is the process, not the outcome, that is glorifying to God.God’s training is for now, not later. His purpose is for this very minute, not for sometime in the future. We have nothing to do with what will follow our obedience, and we are wrong to concern ourselves with it. What people call preparation, God sees as the goal itself.God’s purpose is to enable me to see that He can walk on the storms of my life right now. If we have a further goal in mind, we are not paying enough attention to the present time. However, if we realize that moment-by-moment obedience is the goal, then each moment as it comes is precious.

What struck me from this one is that so often, we think that after we get through a certain part or trial in life, then we will have learned a lesson, received a blessing, etc.  But what Chambers is saying is that the lesson is now, the blessing is now, God's purpose is now - during the storm!

The second teaching on storms that stuck out to me was on the radio, Dr. Michael Youssef.  The message was part 3 of the series "Surely Not Me.....And Definitely Not Them!" - a set of messages based on the book of Jonah.  This particular message was about the storm on the sea when Jonah decided to disobey and run away from God.  He had several good points.
There are three types of "storms" people go through in life:
1.  The type brought on by my actions.
2. The type caused by actions of others.
3.  The type allowed by God as a test of our faith.
When we face a storm, we must determine the
1. Cause
2. Cure.
3. Consequences.
Similar to an illness, we must figure out the cause of the problem before we can cure it.
And, like the reading from My Utmost, Youssef stressed that "God wants to use you NOW."  During the storm.  The sailors were watching Jonah.  They knew he was the cause of the problem.  How was he going to react?  The cure for him was complete surrender to God.  Other fixes didn't work - rowing harding, throwing cargo overboard.  It was only when Jonah submitted to a situation where only God could save him (being thrown overboard in the middle of the sea!) that things became calm.  It was the cure - and also the consequence.  Three days in the digestive juices of a fish?  Lesson learned!

I would like to think that most of the trials that we face as Christians aren't the result of our own stupid actions, but I know a lot are.  Nevertheless, there are things to be learned whatever the trial or cause of it.  Our memory verse for the week was James 1:2-4, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Anyhow.  These are just my jumbled thoughts on the subject, but I'm hoping it gives you something to ponder, as it did for me.  And if you are going through a storm of some sort, maybe it will be the encouragement you need.

Quote to Consider:

"Parenting is a constant struggle between making your kid's life better and ruining your own."
-Willie Robertson, Duck Dynasty


Ha ha ha! So true!
Some ways I've been ruining my life lately (....daily):
Listening to screaming for two solid hours because my daughter can't be distracted by something as menial as breakfast.  (She needs to learn how to eat at mealtimes.)
Lose two hours of my life overseeing my sons to clean one room of the house.  And that's just the mess that they themselves have made!  (They will learn to pick up after themselves, and how to do it properly.)

And yes, I am in love with the show Duck Dynasty.

Quote to Consider:

You can't love Jesus, and hate his wife.  The church is the bride of Christ. [.....]  The answer isn't a new mistress, it's a better bride.  And that's us.
-Didn't catch the guest's name, on For Faith and Family 7/6/13

(Can you tell I've been listening to a lot of Christian talk radio lately?  Bott Radio Network.)