Halfway and Kicking!

We're halfway through this pregnancy - 20 week,s today!  The last 5 weeks or so have really gone fast.  I've definitely felt the baby moving the last two weeks.... Stirrings, gentle nudges.  This weekend, during the evenings when I was reading, I felt a couple real kicks.  Paul had been working nights, and I told him his baby has been pretty active - hopefully he would get to feel him (her) move soon.
Last night, I felt a kick, and Paul put his [cold!] hand on my belly.  Apparently the baby protested it, because he felt him move.  Later, when we were in bed, Paul put his hand on my belly again, and the baby gave him like 5 big kicks in the span of about a minute - the biggest I've felt so far, and the most at once.  I'm happy he got to feel it.
The baby is 10 inches (head to heel) and 10+ ounces.  So tiny, yet 10 inches sounds so big!  (Both boys were just over 20 inches when they were born.)
I am over the food aversions, I think.  Some stuff still just doesn't sound good (noodles), and other stuff has started to give me heartburn (juice) - but I'm actually cooking again.  (Balancing the checkbook and realizing how much we spent going out the last couple months has kind of sealed that!)  I had a violent craving for cheese dip last weekend....  Like, could not think about anything else.  In all the time I was pregnant before with either boy, I've never craved something so much that I made a special trip to town to get it.  This hit me Friday, and I ignored it, tried to shut it up with other food, and finally at 10 PM, sent Paul in to Applebees to get me cheese dip.  He got two orders.  I ate one that night, one the next morning, and that cured it for about a day, but by Sunday night it was back.  Monday morning, I was in town, buying ingredients to make yet more.  I may or may not have eaten an entire batch (1 lb of white cheese, 1/2 cup milk, 7 oz jalepenos - blenderize it.  El Mezcal's recipe.) by myself in 24 hours.  Thankfully, I think I finally shut that craving up.
I'm at the in-between with being tired.  I can get by without a nap, but then I fall asleep ridiculously early (by 8 on the couch last night - out like a log until 11:30 when Jacob woke me up).  But I don't need that much sleep, so I wake up at 5 - but then I'm tired because I woke up so early, which leaves me needing a nap, but since I had a nap, I wake up early........ Vicious circle.
Nathan is pretty excited about the baby.  Jacob still doesn't really get it.  He points to or pats my belly (or just as often, my boob) and says "baby," but that's about as far as it goes.  He does really like the babies at church, and is very gentle with them.  Nathan had decided this baby will be a girl.  We're not finding out, so we were trying to prepare Nathan for the possibility that it could be either.  He was very adamant we were having a girl.  So I said, "Well, what if we had a boy?  Then we'd have three boys at our house like Charlie does [his good buddy from church]."  Well, now he's decided that would be a cool thing, and now he's adamant we're having a boy!  So yesterday, I was having the, "Well, it could be a girl.  God has it planned exactly how he wants it....." conversation with him, and he told me God would be mad if we have a girl.  Oh my....  But I think whenever the baby gets here, he will be so excited about being a big brother, it won't really matter.
Next week we're having a sonogram.  My doctor didn't order one at the hospital, like she is supposed to for 20 weeks - at my last appointment, both of the boys had checkups at the same time with her, so there was a LOT going on in that room....  I'm assuming she forgot.  However, I've already had four sonograms this year (miscarriage, diverticulitis, checking on an ovarian cyst, and then earlier with this baby), so I'm 99% sure my insurance would deny payment - I want to say we had to pay like $500 for the second sonogram with Jacob.  (Our insurance only covers one per pregnancy.)  Maybe it was a God thing, because a nurse that goes to our church contacted me and asked me if I would be a "model" for training on the new sonogram machine at the local pro-life women's center (LifeCare).  I'm really excited about seeing this baby!  So I will have pictures next week.
There's a LOT going on this weekend.... It's our church's annual Bethlehem outreach.  I'm cooking nightly meals for the 100+/- volunteers.  I didn't volunteer to do anything else, but I'm on standby to fill in [non-speaking] parts.  I also signed up to make 16 dozen cookies, and I want to make cinnamon rolls (4 dozen) for one of the meals.......  Yeah, it's going to be crazy the rest of this week. :)

Black Friday Shopping?

I'm not much of a shopper anyways, but seriously - you couldn't pay me enough to go shopping today.  I looked at Facebook right after I woke up, and friends were talking about people being trampled, fights over items, displays being knocked over, and lines wrapping around the outside of stores.
Is there really any deal good enough to put up with this?  Doesn't this take away from the meaning of Christmas?  Doesn't it kind of take away the "joy of giving" when you admit, "Well, I had to kick an old lady in the face to get the last one, but I got it!"
Seriously.  Is this what Christmas is about?  That's not the message I want to send to my kids, and not the message I want to send to everyone I'd meet today - "Yes.  Christmas is about STUFF."

Overheard:

"I think we should name the new baby Eichenberger."

(Yeah, that's my maiden name, for any who don't know.)
We were talking about a neighbor with a unique ("funny") name, and I told Nathan, "Do you know what Grammy's name and Pa-pa's name, and Uncle JC and Aunt Sissy's name is?  It's Eichenberger."   To which he answered the above.
Sorry.  Not happening.

Sin and the Gospel

I don't know if it's the changing season, but we've been dealing with some majorly bad attitudes in Nathan.  I know part of it is he's learning to express his opinion and assert himself, but.... Oh my.  I also know, as much as it's hard to admit it, that it is his sin nature rearing it's ugly head.  We're trying to discuss about how bad attitude (yelling, throwing, stomping, screaming, disrespect) is sin and it makes God sad.  To which he sometimes replies, "No it doesn't."  (And tell me that's not sin nature!)
A few weeks ago, Nathan did pray to ask Jesus into his heart.  Even though I don't think it's for real yet, I was still really happy because it's a step.  Mainly the reason I don't think it's for real is because he doesn't admit he's a sinner.  He acknowledges that there is bad stuff inside of him, but not that he's done anything bad.  So that tells me he can't really be accepting Christ, because that involves confessing and turning from sin.
The whole conversation arose from our family Bible reading.  We're going through Romans, and it talks a lot about sin.  When we read, I re-word things to put it on his level.  (Like, instead of Romans 3:23 "All have sinned" I say, "All have done bad things," and we talk about age-appropriate examples of sinning.)  It didn't come about from me telling him a cute story, or me preaching at him, but what he picked up from hearing the Word of God.  It reminded me of a quote from the book my best friend and I are going through during Sunday school hour in the nursery - Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp:

People frequently ask if I expected my children to become believers.  I usually reply that the gospel is powerful and attractive.  It uniquely meets the needs of fallen humanity.  Therefore, I expected that God's Word would be the power of God to salvation for my children.

That kind of sums up my belief.  I can preach all I want, but it's God who will attract my children.  Let me tell you, it does kind of scare me to think I can't control this decision in their lives.  It's the one thing I want most for my children, to love and accept Christ.  But it's not something I can do for them, or force them to do.  It's their own personal decision, and it's the most important one they'll ever make.

New [to Me] Laptop

This is my first post from my new-to-me (us) laptop.  Paul's parents gave us their old one when they got a new one.  We've had it here for a couple months, but I just haven't had the time or energy to try to learn how to use it.  It's just easier to use the desktop, where all my files and bookmarks are kept.  Plus, we don't have wireless Internet, so either I'm tethered to the desk, or I have a cord strung across the living room.  (To type this, I'm working in "offline" mode.)
And we've talked about wireless, but whereas it does has it's advantages, it does have its disadvantages, too.  So for now we'll stick to the wired type. :)
But I'm determined to learn it.  It's cold now, so I don't have outdoor obligations and distractions, so no excuse to avoid it any longer.  I told Paul this is MY computer, and he won't be playing any games on it (which he does) or installing any games on it (which he has).  Guess I don't threaten convincingly enough.
One reason I wanted a laptop was so that I could work on projects (the bulletin for church, organizing my photos.....blogging) without secluding myself to our front room.  I can sit here in the living room while the boys play or watch a movie, and still kind of interact with them.  One of the reasons I don't want wireless internet is to avoid the temptation to spend all my time that I'm with them on the internet.  I read somewhere that "family time" isn't really family time when the parent spends all the time on their iPhone (or in this case, the computer).  That stuck with me, and it's the same concept.
So, in the future - forgive my typing.  This keyboard and my ape hands don't seem to get along.  Although - with the computer on my lap rather than on a desk, I don't seem to drag across the mouse pad nearly as much.

18 Weeks

I don't know why, but this information just made me happy:

Head to rump, your baby is approximately 5 1/2 inches long and weighs almost 7 ounces. He's busy flexing his arms and legs — movements that you'll start noticing more and more in the weeks ahead. (From a weekly update I get from Babycenter.com)

5 1/2 inches is getting pretty big.  There is a reason for my belly (although it seems like I was this fat even when Baby was the size of a peanut).  I'm starting to feel movements.  Halfway is getting closer, and every day fear of miscarriage diminishes.
I've reached the size I can't hide it.  And I'm okay with that.  I make jokes about being fat, but I love my belly.  It means I'm growing a life.

True Love = Chipotle

Paul's parents offered to keep the boys overnight last night (Sunday), because they hadn't done an over-nighter (or much at all) over there for a while.  So Janice took the boys home from church, and I went home to be productive while I had an empty house (Paul was working).
Or..... not.  But I did manage to clean the living room and bedroom.
On a side note - has anyone else ever noticed it's not so much cleaning as just migrating all the junk to another room?  The living room looked great - cleaned, organized, dusted.... But you should have seen the dining room table!  That's where all the "this doesn't belong in here" stuff ended up.
Anyhow.  Back to our kid-free night.
The original plan was Paul would pick up Applebee's to-go on the way home from work, and we'd rent a Red Box movie and actually start it before 9 (10) o'clock (which is when our kids finally go to sleep).  Oh the bliss of the thought!  A grown up movie, without having to worry about getting up to put someone back to bed or that the volume is too loud.
Paul texted me Sunday morning as I was getting the boys ready to go to church.  Chipotle for supper?
Be still my heart.
I love Chipotle.  LOVE.  Paul is not a fan.  So for him to suggest it..... I knew it was just for me.
We ended up watching Inception - I'd heard a lot about it, and my brother loaned it to us a month or two ago, but we'd not gotten around to watching it (due to time/children constraints).  But even starting it by 8, I was still out an hour in to the movie.  (Chipotle in my belly = narcoleptic effects.)
I did keep waking up off and on to kind of have an idea of what was going on.  But what I noticed most is that the movie really has striking similarities to the books I'm reading right now, The Circle series by Ted Dekker (Black/Red/White).  Like enough to make me wonder if the writer of the movie had read the books (which were written in 2003).
So it really was a great night by ourselves - and a great morning of sleeping in until the unheard-of hour of 9 AM.  Even if I did fall asleep.  Paul is used to it by now.  And having gotten up at 5 AM for work, he was ready to crash by 11, too. :)

Overheard: Major Brownie Points

We had a late rose bloom on Paul's rosebush - a beautiful red rose, rivaling anything at a florist.  Knowing it was supposed to freeze tonight, I cut it and brought it inside.

Nathan:  "Is that flower from Daddy's rose?"
Me:  "Yes, isn't it gorgeous?" [confused look] "Do you know what 'gorgeous' means?"
Paul:  "It means, 'Mommy.'"


*sigh*
*pitter patter heart*

Overheard: Subtle Insults

Me:  "Nathan, I can't pick you up.  You're too big."
Nathan:  "I'm big.  And Jacob's big."
Me:  "Is Daddy big, too?"
Nathan:  "No.  Daddy's just short."
(He's not really.  He's 5'9" - shorter than me, but not short.)

Paul:  "Are you going to grow up and get big?"
Nathan:  "Yeah.  And you growed up and got almost big."


Nathan:  "Daddys don't have big bellys.  Only Mommy does."

Someday.....

Someday I'll get to an update.  Let me give you a rundown of a normal day:
The boys wake me up about 7:30.  I may or may not try to convince them to snuggle in bed so I don't have to get up.
I fix breakfast, we eat and read the Bible.
I set the timer for Nathan, and quickly check my email and Facebook.
Timer goes off and we start school.  It usually takes about an hour.
I set the timer again and we practice violin for as long as his attention and my patience last (like 20 minutes) - and some days my patience is shot by the time we get done with school, so I don't even bother, or I make Paul do it later.
I do a little housework, we go on a walk, or I let them play until lunchtime.
We eat.
I let them play, telling myself I'm not that tired and that I think I can get by without a nap today.
I get them in bed for their naps, and realize I'm falling asleep myself.
Resistance is futile:  It's naptime.
Wake up, try to be productive (lately: huge fail)
Fix supper.
Play with boys, do projects.
Put them to bed.
Veg out, because I've resigned myself to the fact that productivity is futile.
Sleep some more (usually with weird dreams).

Two things about this pregnancy that are driving me crazy:  Being tired all the time, but not being able to sleep (or not sleeping well), and being hungry all the time, but the thought of everything makes me want to gag (which means I never want to cook).  I haven't been sick, it's just that all food (except fast food or junk food, go figure) just sounds gross.  But once I just buck up and eat it, it's fine.  I had a salad today, that I wasn't sure I'd be able to choke down (but the only other choice was hot dogs), but two bites in, I was enjoying it.
Anyhow.  This pregnancy may be the death of this blog.  So I apologize.