How Did We Get Here, Part 2

I briefly explained our view of family planning in this post.  After having Opal 5 years ago, we stuck to our natural family planning - and figured with my advancing age, that our chances of our family expanding were rapidly declining now that I am over 40.

But God is full of humor and blessings.

He surprised us this year with our third "last child."  We now have 7 kids!  We never planned to be "one of those weird families."  (And I still don't consider us one of "those" families. We are a very normal family, that happens to have a lot of kids!)

We started marriage in 2004 planning to have an "acceptably large" family of 4 kids.  I did not have regular menstrual cycles (one or two a year), so we had to use ovulation drugs to get pregnant with the first two (boys), born in 2007 and 2009.  We had a miscarriage in 2011.  After being pregnant with a girl (born 2012), it seemed that my hormones finally figured it out and I began cycling regularly. We had our fourth (another boy) in 2013, and whereas I was "done" mentally (4 kids in 6 years), I can't say I ever truly felt like I knew we were done.  (Everyone says you know.)  

Paul was leaving it up to me, as it is my body that has to bear pregnancies, and I was leaving it up to him as it's his finances that have to provide.  We both felt that we needed to trust God, but agreed my body needed a break.  (I had been pregnant or nursing all but a few months of 8 years.)

Then we became pregnant with #5 within months of having the "let's give your body a break" talk.  Another girl was born in 2016.  (And this was after having an ovary removed due to a cyst!)

After this baby, my cycles became extremely regular, and we thought this we had this family planning thing really under control. No babies for 4 years seemed to verify that thought.  And then there was that one month in spring of 2020 (the spring of Covid lockdown)......  Our 6th was born in early 2021.

At this point we both felt we were done, but still not willing to have surgery to demand our will over God's.  Our oldest was almost done with home school high school, and our youngest was just starting.  I was managing a thriving ministry at church, and we were all involved in ministry at church and helping on my family's farm.  Life was full, and we were content and abundantly blessed.

Everything on the internet about fertility in your 40s says it is almost impossible to get pregnant.  Apparently that doesn't apply if you've had 6 babies already!  We got pregnant with baby #7 on my 42nd birthday, despite carefully tracking my cycles, and the calendar and physical symptoms showing me being days past "the danger zone."  Ironically, my sister had just given me back all the baby stuff I'd given to her.  I took it to donation, but the pregnancy center was randomly closed, so the car seat and other items stayed in the back of my van for two weeks.......where it still was when I found out I'd need them again!

Our 7th was born in March of 2025.  I've had babies in three separate decades!  ('00s, '10s, and '20s)  God is good, and never ceases to amaze us.

How Did We Get Here?

 Remember this post?

Well, it still holds true.  And we still weren't wanting more than 5 kids.  

Last spring, Paul and I had the sit-down discussion of "are we done?"  Elsa had just turned 4.  We would be starting school (preschool) with her in the fall, so all of our kids would be in school at home.  I felt like we had settled into knowing what to expect each day, and going out in public or for a vacation wasn't as overwhelming since the kids were old enough to manage themselves in and out of the car, and control their emotions (usually).

We still were convicted that it is not our right to take away God's right to manage our fertility, but we were careful to do what was in our power to manage, and felt happy in the size of family God had given us.

So we decided we were done.  Not that having another baby was outside the realm of possibility, but we thought there's no reason to hang onto baby equipment and clothes when someone else could be using it.  IF we ended up having another baby, we'd find what we needed at that time. 

So we packed it up, had a garage sale, and took stuff to LifeCare (local pregnancy resource center).

And the following week, I found out I was pregnant.

I should have started my period the Monday after the garage sale.  By Wednesday I had grown suspicious.  On Friday I bought a pregnancy test.  I took it on Sunday, and then by some miracle of God's design - all the kids were away at other houses, and I had a chance to tell Paul in an empty house.  

For the first time, I was able to surprise him with pregnancy news.  And I cried.

Not because I was disappointed - there is nothing bad about a baby coming to a couple who loves each other deeply - but because I remembered what it had been like last time I had a baby.  Debilitating lack of energy during pregnancy, and how a new baby disrupts absolutely every aspect of life, especially home schooling - and the previous year of homeschooling had been tenuous at best.  (Honestly, I had looked up how to enroll kids in public school in December.)  I was 5 years older (almost to turn 38 at that point), and 30 pounds heavier, and completely out of shape.  All these reasons pregnancy was going to be completely inconvenient and uncomfortable!

But I remembered that verse, 2 Corinthians 12:9 - But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

Nothing happens outside of God's plan.  This was God's plan.  I would make it through.

And I did!

As it was, this pregnancy didn't seem to be as hard on me physically.  Partly because I'd had my veins fixed after Elsa, so I didn't have the throbbing heavy legs daily.  (I didn't wear the stockings this time, but I did wear knee high compression socks daily.)  We bought a Bowflex Max 6 (basically like an elliptical stairstepper) in June when it was massively on sale, and I did well about using it several times a week until late fall.  I only gained 20 lbs. total.  And homeschooling all 5 was less stress than 4 the previous year.  (Elsa's fantastic cheerful attitude about school every day made all the difference!)

We did have to get all new (new to us) baby stuff, but the awesome thing about that is we were able to evaluate every piece and ask if we really needed it.  Baby swing?  Hadn't done much for 5, so we could presume it wouldn't for a sixth.  Boppy pillow?  Absolutely essential!  

We debated finding out the gender, but decided to keep this surprise a surprise.  (Besides, it kept me from collecting those absolutely adorable outfits they had out at Christmas time!)

When January rolled around, I went to Carter's and bought one girl jammies, one boy jammies, and two neutral jammies.  I procrastinated, but finally packed a bag for the hospital the week I was due.  

The baby gave us a bit of a ..... not really scare, but concern?  confusion?.... three weeks before my due date.  I went in to my normal appointment, and the baby's heart beat was in the 190s.  (Normal is 120-150.)  After several minutes, the heart rate was still up, so my doctor sent me over to the hospital to do a fetal non-stress test (put monitors on my belly and record the baby's heartbeat, usually for 20 minutes).  This crazy baby!  It was rolling and flipping the entire time and its heartbeat never went below 160 for 4 hours!  The monitors showed I was having contractions (even though I couldn't feel them), so they gave me fluids and I ended up being in the hospital all day.  (Which was not a bad thing, since Paul was home.  Although two children started throwing up with a stomach bug that plagued us all week!)

All the monitoring was for nothing, because all returned to normal after the baby finally took a nap.  My doctor wanted me to be monitored twice weekly and have weekly sonograms until my due date, but we had no other problems after that one crazy day.  We just had to wait.......

How to Potty Train an 18-Month-Old

So do you want to know the quickest, fastest way to potty train a one-year-old from diapers to underpants in just one weekend?

Yeah, so do I.
But apparently, it's happened!

Yeah, sometimes she wears clothes.  (But not often!)

We stumbled into potty training completely by accident one evening back in October.  Elsa stood watching the tub fill for a bath, and something about the look on her face made me think she had to pee.  I swooped her onto the potty (we have one with a child's seat attatched to the lid - it's amazing!).  And she went!

Several hours later at bedtime, she was still dry, so I set her on the toilet again.  And she went again!
And that was really all it took for her.  I don't know how or why it was so easy, but it was.  After a month of disbelief with only maybe one accident a week, we started putting her in underpants for church and short trips to town.  Now two months in, I feel fairly confident that she will stay dry, even when we're gone all day.  The only accidents we've had are when I've forgotten the fold up potty seat (she won't go on a regular seat, even if I hold her) or when a certain aunt takes her to Sonic and loads her up on Sprite.
All the kids have started potty training young, but she definitely gets the award for 0 to 100 in the shortest amount of time.  I don't think it has anything to do with my parenting skills (you'd think I'd have learned something by #5!), but more so just that I happened to catch them when they were curious and when I had the time to work with them.
Potty training one so young has it's disadvantages - she doesn't talk much yet, but she's figured out "GO!" will get an immediate response.  I'll be sitting on the couch and she comes and gets me with a "GO!"..........and then leads me to the snack cupboard.  A couple times I've just taken her to to the bathroom, and she will start yelling at me from another room.  I ignore her, because I know she's just went - only to find out that pee wasn't all she had to do....  Also, since she's so little, there's no way she can take herself to the bathroom.  She can't climb up onto and turn around without falling in, so it's 100% parent-assisted.
But still - a small trade for not having to change poopy diapers any more!!!

Rhodes Report 2016

I typed this up, but never got it sent out.  As always, January finances were in upheaval.  It's always the super-tight month after Christmas expenditures and before receiving Paul's holiday overtime and tax return.  February was super-busy and I didn't have time to address the envelopes.  Then came March, and I'd forgotten about it.  So when April hit, I asked, "What's the point?"  
But for you loyal readers, here it is......

     As a new year dawns, we can look back over 2016 and see just how blessed we are. We are promised that "God will meet all [our] needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:19), and we can see that He has faithfully done that.
     We opened 2016 looking forward to the arrival of our 5th baby. Elsa Anne was born March 15. Now, at 10 months old, her personality is beginning to shine. She is a very happy baby, who loves smiling and waving. She is noticeably smaller than our other 4 were at the same age, but no less adventurous. She has crawling figured out, and has recently discovered the stairs. She is timidly attempting letting go of her support as she stands, but doesn't seem to be in a hurry to conquer that skill. Her siblings adore her, and are all very helpful in entertaining and watching out for her.
     Gideon turned 3 in December, and is a little Mr. Smarty Pants. He's got the world figured out, and fears nothing. Surprisingly, his "adventurousness" is not what earned him our family's first trip to the emergency room. In June, he fell getting out of the van and got 3 stitches in his forehead. But even in this, he was Mr. Smooth, charming the nurses and doctor, while kicked back on the gurney with his hands behind his head. Gideon has a very large vocabulary, and his expressions are hilarious. He knows most of his shapes and colors, and he loves building with his big Legos and playing with farm toys and trains.
     Zadie turned 4 in April. She is a very tall girl, with most mistaking her for a 6 or 7 year old. We started pre school with her on the fall, and she loves the writing and coloring, but sees no use for trying to remember the names of letters and numbers. Miss Zadie is a sass, and all her dad can do is shake his head when she is telling him how the world works, complete with finger-wagging and head nods. She loves drawing, coloring, and writing her name, along with playing with her doll house and ponies. We discovered "girl Legos" this year, and she spends hours creating and interacting with them.
     Jacob turned 7 in October and is in 2nd grade. He is very quick with picking things up in his schoolwork, although his attention to detail could use some work. Jacob shadows his big brother constantly, and as a result sometimes isn't sure about what he likes to do on his own. He enjoys farm toys, Legos, dinosaurs, mowing and raking in the yard, and exploring outside. He really enjoys helping Pa-Pa on the farm.  He got a beginner’s compound bow for his birthday and has enjoyed target shooting with it.  His patience will pay off in that area.
     Nathan turned 9 in September. He learns tasks very quickly, and is very careful and trustworthy with being allowed to do things that most kids his age can't do. This year, he learned how to run Grandpa's small chain saw, how to operate the riding mower, and how to drive Paul's truck. Nathan is in 4th grade on some subjects. He says reading is his favorite subject, which is a HUGE change from when we started school a year ago, and he could barely read. His brain works differently, which is apparent by the way he randomly writes with his left hand - without even noticing. So we still are working on the fact that some things aren't interchangeable, like the order of letters or numbers. But he does well at school and we are pleased at his progress.  He bought a BB gun at the end of summer, and enjoys target shooting.  He’s very responsible with this “real” gun and keeps it carefully stored.  However, his arsenal of play guns are all over the yard and house and are constantly being smuggled in the van.  (A parent at Awana told me they appreciate his patrol each week!)  Besides camouflage, guns, and army – Nathan enjoys Legos, farm toys, and helping Paul work on wood building projects.
     Home school is going well. It's a challenge with a small, mobile baby, who can't decide if she wants to be in my arms pulling things off the desk, or on the floor putting things in her mouth. Attitudes are better this year, but we still have days of absolutely maddening lolly-gagging. Nathan is to the age of knowing what's expected and getting it done on his own, which is VERY helpful, since Elsa's sleeping and nursing whimsies basically dictate my entire day.
     Paul and I are to the point of being old and boring, and that's just fine. Paul finished his 17th year at the glass plant. He is still very involved with the Encounter ministry, and has been visiting the youth detention center with our associate Pastor a couple times a month. Obviously, cooking and looking after this crew takes a lot of my time, but I have been able to be involved in putting on some special events the church has hosted. Paul and i celebrated 12 years of marriage in March. Being married to your true best friend is so nice. 
     We are involved in the Awana program at church. I teach Cubbies (preschool) with Zadie, Jacob has finished his second book in Sparks, and Nathan is learning how to study the Bible in T&T. 
     In December, most of the family were involved in our church's Bethlehem presentation. Elsa portrayed Baby Jesus (our 4th child to play the part), with Paul &  I as Mary and Joseph, Nathan was a shepherd, Zadie was an angel, and Jacob was a general cast member. We really enjoy presenting the Christmas Story to the community. This year, over 1,400 passed through in 3 nights.
     In January, Paul took his truck to the dealer for an inspection, and they discovered the frame was nearly rusted through. Apparently Toyota has a lifetime warranty on this. The downside is that it took them several months to completely replace the frame and several other components involved. The upside is that parts and labor were free, and Paul was given a free rental for those 5 months. He took the rental in for an oil change, and the only replacement they had was a Dodge Challenger. Driving a shiny black muscle car sure was tough for Paul to do....
     We didn't get much done on the house this year, but Paul did manage to finish up the basement bathroom early last year. It's quite nice to have 2 full bathrooms, plus the bonus back bath. Paul does such great work.
     Obviously, no vacations happened. Even though we planned to take some short overnight trips, the reality was that camping with a baby and 2 year old was going to be entirely too stressful. So Paul and the kids did some backyard camping, and fishing trips to the neighbor's pond, which they all thoroughly enjoyed.
     Seeing how God has provided and blessed us makes us excited for what He has planned on 2017. "He who began a good with in you week be faithful to complete it." We anticipate and want to be open to doing His work and fulfilling His calling.
     We hope this letter finds you blessed and well. Give us a call any time you're in the area. Visitors are the pinnacle of excitement around here!
     From our home to yours,
          Paul & Rachel
          Nathan, Jacob, Zadie, Gideon, and Elsa

Zadie Marie: A Salvation Story

"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth."
-III John 1:4


Both of our older boys prayed to accept Jesus as their Savior when they were quite young. They were 4 and 3 1/2 years old. But that has been 4 years ago, since Jacob made the decision! So it seems like this announcement is a long time coming.
Last Sunday, Zadie made the decision to trust Christ as her Savior!
This event has brought me so much joy and relief. Even though we read the Bible with our kids nightly, Zadie has shown very little interest in spiritual matters. Even over the last year, since she's been in Cubbies at Awana, we have tried to have intentional conversations with her about sin and why Jesus had to die, and she would usually change the subject. If I could engage her into conversation, the conversation would end in her refusing to admit she had ever sinned. The few times she would admit sin (usually after being caught in a lie), when we would go over the conversation about sin and Christ, she would say she didn't want to pray for forgiveness. It was becoming obvious that she knew all the pieces, but it was willful refusal to open up to God. Others would encourage me that she was still young (she's almost 5), but the hardening of her little heart was still concerning. And i was questioning myself whether we were being diligent enough in discipleship and training. Obviously I don't have as much time now to talk and teach one on one like I did with Nathan and Jacob, now that we have 5 kids.
Last Sunday, our Bible study met and since it was our first meeting since the holidays, we didn't have a study set. Someone asked, "What should we read?" And Paul jokingly said, "Jonah!" This is the answer our children always choose when given a choice of what Bible study to read in the children's Bible, so we had a good laugh. But we did study Jonah, and had good conversations about it.
When we came home and were putting the children to bed, Paul took Zadie upstairs to read the Bible in her bed. (On late nights, we'll read the children's story Bible to Zadie and Gideon alone, rather than reading as a family in the living room.) Paul asked Zadie what she wanted to read, and of course the answer was, "Jonah!"
In light of the good conversations we'd had at Bible study, Paul talked to her about why the people of Ninevah were in trouble with God, and that led to a conversation about sin, and on to talking about the fact that Jesus died on the cross to pay for our sins so we can go to Heaven.
I wasn't upstairs, but I could hear that they were having a conversation. After a while, Paul came to the to of the stairs, and said, "Rachel, could you come up here?" My heart filled with hope.
I went to her room, and Paul filled me in on what they'd talked about. He asked Zadie if she wanted to pray with Mommy about Jesus talking her sins away. She said yes!
I could sense a different spirit about her. Usually she had a kind of flippant attitude when you try to be serious with her. But she was very quiet and contrite as she lay there on her bed. I knelt by her bedside and asked her some more questions. She answered all of them with assurance. Then I asked her if she wanted to pray. She nodded.
I guided her in a simple prayer to confess that she had sinned, and asking Jesus to forgive her and thanking Him for dying to pay for the bad things she'd done. When we were finished, she had a big smile on her face, and i felt like my heart was about to burst with happiness!
The next morning I asked her what she had done, and she quickly and confidently answered, "I asked Jesus to take all my bad sins away so I can go to Heaven!" I feel certain she understood and fully accepted what had happened the night before.
Paul and I noticed an almost immediate change in her, which I believe I'd evidence of the Holy Spirit now living within her. She accidentally hurt Gideon. I had her apologize, which she did, but then several minutes later, she came to him and asked him if he would forgive her. She told me when she was outside, she was singing "new songs" about Jesus dying on the cross. Instead of playing with dolls or other toys, she say quietly and listened attentively when we read the Bible the next night (and every night since). She has told most of her friends about what she did.
It is such a joy to know that one more of our children will be joining us in eternity! And the fact that i got to be with her when she made that decision makes my joy complete!

High School Memories

I'm in the midst of another clean and purge....  I do declare, how is it I get rid of so much stuff and our house is still so cluttered??
This round brought me across a box of my old journals.  I've kept a journal since childhood.  Sporadically, for the most part, except in the midst of my teenage years.  I was pretty faithful to journal about all of the teenage angst and ecstasies I was experiencing.
So I have wasted a lot of time over the last two days, reading those old notebooks.  Some were fun, like the journal I kept when Paul and I started our relationship.  I thoroughly enjoyed reading my thoughts and emotions, and I was so happy to see that none of it has changed.  I still love him, and admire him, and am excited to be around him.  Who says those feelings don't last?  They have for us.  All I can say that God has blessed us.
But reading the journals from my teenage years were not so pleasant, because they brought back all of those emotions.  I'm sure all teenagers feel them.  The feelings of suffocating uncertainty, unrequited love, and the need to feel special to someone, but having no one interested.  And I do mean no one.
I was a confusing teenager, I'm sure.  On one hand, incredibly brash and outgoing, but when it came to other things, painfully shy and introverted.  Walking controversies.  Even within my journal entries - "He likes me!.... He can shove it."  Adding to the loud, feminist exterior, was the fact I was a good couple inches taller than most guys I knew, which made me a formidable female to approach, I'm sure.
Yet I had a deep desire to be special to someone.  And the fact that no one was interested, despite all my silly crushes, made me very familiar with the feelings of rejection and loneliness.
As I read through my journals, I could see God's hand guiding me toward the future He had prepared for me, even though I was totally unaware that my future was right by my side as I was living all of this.  (Paul has been in my life for nearly 30 years!)
The only boyfriend I had, I loved as much as a 17-year-old could.  But after 10 months together, I got the undeniable realization that God wanted me to break up with him.  I undoubtedly heard the silent yet audible voice of God in that matter, speaking right into my mind and heart.  I'm glad I was a sensitive teen when it came to spiritual matters, and I listened to Him.  There was no reason not to marry my high school boyfriend.  He was a really good guy from a nice family.  But that wasn't God's plan for me.
And it shattered my heart and confused me.  Why would God have me break up with him, only to face complete singleness (for 3 years)?  I know my self-worth is found in Christ, but I think women need to know that they are special and beautiful to a man. I had a need to be loved by a boy, but again, this  personality God gave me protected me.  I was too shy to go looking for love.
Even after I fell in love with Paul, he didn't return my emotions for almost two years.  And that was probably the deepest hurt I ever received.  I know now that God put that deep love in my heart for Paul, but during the time he didn't care the same way for me, and I couldn't make myself stop loving him, I was miserable.  I still get choked up remembering how I felt.  Even some movies that are supposed to be lighthearted teen movies remind me of that rejection, and the emotion I can still feel surprises me.
But I know the road God leads us down is for a reason.  I see that now.  And it makes me wonder how to protect our daughters from the same emotions.  I think it is somehow built into women to need to be someone's special person - Zadie already asks who she will marry - but heartbreak doesn't have to be part of the road to happily ever after.
Part of how I want to protect them - all of my kids, but especially my daughters - is from the boyfriend/girlfriend pressures that surround them, even as young as preschool.  (!)  I absolutely refuse to tease Zadie or let her be teased about the boys she plays with.  The result of having two older brothers means she is around a lot of boys.  And she is really good buddies with one of them, but it is so sweet and innocent.  They are both clueless.  And I want it to stay that way.  I don't want him to get teased about "his little girlfriend" and start being a jerk to her.  So I jump all over any of the kids that even hint at anything "lovey" between them.
So we start the journey with a new generation, and teach them from our failures and successes.

Time to Vacuum

When your baby rolls over, and her back looks like the top of an "everything" bagel, you know it's time to vacuum.


(The quote isn't original to me, it's something I saw on Facebook once. And am probably mis-quoting.)

Managing My Household

Something I've been struggling to figure out is how to manage my household.  Proverbs 31:27 says, "[A virtuous and capable wife] watches all that goes on in her household, and does not have to bear the consequences of laziness."
I like being lazy.  But I also like a clean house.  So I'm torn.
But now, with the balance of power shifted in favor of messy small people, something must be done.  The house can go from "not that bad" to completely destroyed during the preparation of one meal.  And I've decided it doesn't have to be my job to pick up those messes.
What does a manager do?  Constantly checks on things and delegates jobs.  And "managing" the house is going to require doing something about those areas I avoid because I don't want to deal with the filth - the kids' bedrooms and the downstairs bathroom.  And it takes a lot of my time.
I'm trying to figure out ways to "manage a household".  I've researched online, and found several ideas, but most are in favor of strictly scheduled days and checklists.  I like the idea of this (if I write things down, I can't forget them!), but I hate the strictness.  There are some days that it's okay to be lazy.  When Daddy has worked 7 days straight, and we have a day at home with nowhere to go and nothing to do....  Throw out the schedule!  But then I feel guilty that I didn't do anything and follow my own rules.
So I'm trying to figure out what works in our house.  Each house is different, made of up different personalities and different work and school schedules, so it's taking a while to figure ours out.  Especially since school hasn't started yet.  But I'm trying to get everyone used to keeping the house clean daily before we start that.
I read Proverbs 29 to the kids tonight.  Two verses speak to mothers, children, and discipline.  "To discipline and reprimand a child produces wisdom, but a mother is disgraced by an undisciplined child." (v 15) "Discipline your children, and they will give you happiness and peace of mind." (v 17)
There are two kinds of discipline.  Discipline can be appropriate punishment, and discipline can also be self-control and responsibility.  And that's something I am in charge of teaching my kids.  When they don't have discipline, it may result in discipline.  I want them to have the self-control to not destroy an entire room, and the discipline to clean up after themselves.  But it takes constant attention and tough love.  Because children are naturally oblivious and selfish.  They don't think the "mess" of their beloved toys is a big deal, and they think Mommy is here, so she'll wave her magic wand and make it disappear.
So we're working on it.  And trying to keep the house clean daily.  And considering what type of list and schedule we need to remind us and keep us sane.

I Stopped Caring

One of the best things - and biggest challenges - about having so many young kids, is that it's made me focus on what really matters.
Which means I've had to stop caring about a lot of things......

I used to care that my kids were dressed in nice, new-looking clothes any time we went to town.  I didn't want to look like "one of those" low-income families.
Now I'm just happy if they are wearing clothes at all (Gideon), or at least have clothes on that don't have holes and stains.

I used to think I needed a closet full of nice clothes so I would have choices when I go out.  After all, having lots of clothes shows the world I am classy.
I go out so little, I could wear a different outfit every time I go out, and not repeat for a year.  So bit by bit I'm paring it down to only clothes that I love.  (And having to finally retire my 20-year-old t-shirts.)

I used to pride myself that I was "green" before it was cool.
Now I see that sometimes it's okay to make life easier for myself, and do things like use disposable diapers.  (After all, which is worse - throwing a few paper diapers in the trash every day, or wasting so many gallons of water washing tiny, incomplete loads of laundry several times per week to keep the flies from infesting the diaper pail?)

I used to care that my kids be "perfect" at church, so everyone would know what a great mom I am.
My boys' shirts are always untucked, with crooked collars.  Zadie's hair is usually doing some crazy thing, and I have to pull them down out of a tree when it's time to go home. (Usually while they're simultaneously staging an army invasion with toy guns they smuggled into the van.)
Now I see that the illusion of perfection doesn't matter.  What people see of my family is how we are all the time.  Imperfect but real.

I used to want my kids to have a chance to be involved in all those things that kids "have" to experience:  sports, reading clubs, 4-H, homeschool co-ops.
Now I see that the "home" part of "homeschool" is more important than anything else.  What values do they learn by being herded to the van constantly?

I used to want all my kids to be proficient in a musical instrument.
But forced daily practicing and arguing was killing our love for music.
Now I see that having kids that sing their hearts out in praise to God is more important.

I used to care that my kids would be the brightest, most-advanced student for their age.
Then we had a delay in reading.
Now I see that there is so much more to life and learning than what is learned in the schoolroom.  (How many 8-year-olds do you know that can build a deck, frame a room, and hang sheet rock?)

I used to care that my house was perfect whenever anyone came to to visit.
Now I want people to know that I'm real.  My house isn't always perfect.  I try to make an effort, as a way of honoring our guests, but my house always looks lived in.  Lived in by 7 people.  It will never be a Better Homes & Gardens feature.  But people know that they are welcome in our home any time.

I used to want my kids to just blend in.
But now I want them to be spiritual leaders and be willing to take a stand.  I want my boys to be men, and my girls to be feminine, and not be ashamed of how God made them!

I used to worry that everyone would think my kids are weird.
They are weird.
But so are all of us.  Yet many of us shove our true selves into a box, so that the rest of the world doesn't think we are weird.  I don't want my kids to be cookie-cutter kids.

I used to think that families need to go on vacations every year.
But even though vacations are fun, memorable experiences, do they really make kids better people?  I'd rather teach them about saving and spending money responsibly.  Which means admitting to them:  vacations cost a lot of money, and we don't have a lot of money right now.  So we do things fun and memorable and free - like fishing in the neighbor's pond, and searching for geocaches.

I used to care about our "stuff."
Now I see how little stuff we actually need.  (Did you know you don't actually need a toaster?)

I used to think I needed - deserved - "girl time" and "me time."
I don't remember the last time I had girl time. My "me time" consists of watching non-animated television while folding clothes or balancing the checkbook.
But I don't miss it.
I am living the life God called me to live.  That includes my family.  Do the kids drive me nuts sometimes?  You bet they do.  But I love spending time with them when all of us can be home together.  It is when I feel most complete.  (But I do still love those rare, deep heart-to-heart chats with true friends.)

And finally.....
I used to care what people think about me.
I still do.  I want people to like me.
But I know that what God thinks about me is more important.  As long as I'm following Him, living my life according to the way He's convicted me, it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about me.  I don't answer to them.  I've lost friends and had people reject me because of this, and that has truly hurt.  But I can't change that.  I have to live my life for the One that matters.


So sometimes it's a good thing to just stop caring.

I'm Still Here!

I do think about blogging, a lot.  But I just keep not doing it.  I'm wondering about the future of my blog.  I do love keeping my "journal" online, but I'm getting it done less and less often.  I know I don't have a readership, and I don't want to acquire readers.  I do this for myself.  We'll see how it goes this summer.  I've got my laptop fixed, and found the power cord.  It's been missing for several months, but was pretty low on my list of important things, since we have the big computer and a smart phone for internet.  (By the way, the cord was in the dvd cabinet the whole time.  I kept searching the computer cabinet and box.)
How is life?  Good!
Elsa is sleeping most of the night now.  She backed her go-to-sleep time from 11 to 9, and moved forward her waking time.  She usually sleeps at least 6 hours, but earlier this week slept 10 hours! If she wakes, it's usually just once, and she finally will go back to sleep in her own bed, without being swaddled.  We still have absolutely no daytime schedule.  She likes to be held and to nurse a lot of the day.  (My milk production is still struggling, so I think she nurses more often than is typical.)  She will lay on her blanket or in her bouncy chair, but prefers to be able to see and hear me.  So it's really hard to get anything done.  But I just try to peck away on projects whenever I have 5 minutes.
My body is feeling (and looking!) all of it's 33 (almost 34) years.  I don't know if it was all brought on by this last pregnancy and childbirth, but I feel old!  I have an outrageous amount of gray hair falling out during my post-baby molt.  People claim they can't see gray in my hair, but I say bull.  My skin has been going crazy with extreme dryness and what I have self-diagnosed as rosacea.  I switched soap and moisturizer to an all-natural approach, and it seems to have helped a lot.  I'm doing the oil cleansing method and moisturizing with a mix of jojoba, coconut, sunflower, avacado, and rose hip seed oil, along with some essential oils.  (By the way, I've become a bona fide hippie in the last year.)  My metabolism has flat-lined, and I've only lost 10 lbs of baby weight.  My varicose veins are better than they were during pregnancy, but are still pretty bad.  (My first appointment to repair is next week.)  My back has been hurting for 3 weeks, with no known cause.  It's getting better slowly (no more stabbing pains), but I'd prefer it be fixed NOW.  And there's other hormonal things....  To sum it up, I'd rather just take naps every day. :)
We finished school, for-real-but-not-really, the first week of May.  The boys finished their math before Elsa arrived, and were basically done with new material in Language Arts (phonics, spelling, reading, language, poetry, etc), so I let them skip the lessons and just finish their worksheets and readers.  The lure of finishing early wasn't enough to make them do 3 days at a time, but they finally got it all done.  Summer schedule is reading a story or two, and math flashcards every day, so I am making them do "school" during the summer.  I had backed Nathan up a year to 2nd grade Language Arts and he made a HUGE leap (from Kindergarten reading level, to a normal 3rd grade boy level), so we're going to try jumping ahead to 4th grade (where he should be) Language next year.
The boys LOVE being outside.  They are constantly out there building (or destroying) things, digging in the dirt, or helping do anything.  I am so glad they have the opportunity to just "be boys."  Nathan can run the lawnmower, and we recently acquired a pushmower, and Jacob begs to mow with it.  If Paul asks them for help doing a project, they leap to join him.  I really appreciate their helpfulness, and hope they keep that quality throughout their life.  God knows the house would have completely fallen apart had they not been doing the bulk of the cleaning lately.
Zadie starts school this fall also, and she's excited and ready.  (She turned 4 last month.)  She wants to write her name, and has finally mostly got her colors sorted out.  She's such a big girl (literally, and as an expression)!  She loves her little sister and is always trying to mother her and snuggle.  She keeps telling me about, "when I'm a mommy."  I love that she's identified with me.  Whereas, I don't think that all women should only be stay-at-home moms, I will encourage her to dream about being a mommy as much as I'd encourage her to be an astronaut, if that's what she wants to do.  I think that being a mom is just as important, if not more important, than being a doctor or teacher.  She's figured out how to ride her bike, and can actually ride without training wheels, but can't launch or stop, so we keep them on for now.
Gideon is..... a two year old.  He amazes us with his vocabulary and ability to communicate (our last two were just starting to use words at his age), but he is a pill.  He is a bully and will hit other kids when they don't do what he wants.  We've been having a trial with screaming "NO!" tantrums.  It's really pleasant at 4 AM, let me tell you.  I know it's "just a stage" but.... Oh my.  It takes everything I have to stay on him.  (And he has figured out the "Mommy is nursing and can't do anything right now.")  Not to mention the little bugger can do anything he sets his mind to, even if it could potentially kill him.
We have had basically nonstop rain this month.  The garden has only been dry enough to work in for a few days, and that was at the beginning of the month.  It now has algae growing in it (future fertilizer?), and standing water in several places.  The only way I can see where the peas are, is because they're turning yellow among all the weeds.  I complain like a city person, but I think even the farmers are ready for it to end for a while.  I know quite a few still haven't gotten all their crops in.  When I look at the weather map, there are flood warnings along rivers from Wyoming to Texas to Missouri.  It makes me wonder what the rest of the summer will be like.
Well, even though I opened with bragging about Elsa's nighttime sleep schedule, she is thinking about waking up, so I need to get my lap empty and ready for her.
Hopefully I'll be here again soon, blogging about more randomness and discoveries!

I'm Still Here.

Okay, so it has been pointed out to me (Ahem, Carlsie....) that I am not doing a lot on my blog lately.  A myriad of reasons, really.
Even though our family life has not been crazy, my personal non-mommy obligations have been on overdrive, it seems, ever since the first of the year.  I can't tell you what all it has been, exactly, but it seems like every time I'm on the computer I'm working on something else.
And then we have the fact that I have cut my recreational computer time, drastically.  I wasn't doing a lot already, but basically I check my email and that's it.  No blog (obviously), no reading other blogs, no Facebook stalking through Paul's account.  No useless Yahoo news.  I didn't really resolve to cut those things out, it just happened.  Lack of blogging is also due to the fact that most of the stuff I want to write about requires pictures, and I have a lack of motivation and time for finding and uploading them.
I have really, really been making a concentrated effort to keep the house clean.  Today, it's still reeling from the crazy week we've had this week, and I can't quite motivate myself to do the stack of pans on the counter.  But for the first time in months, perhaps years, there's not a box full of unorganized crap sitting somewhere.  I went through every box and basket and got it put away, thrown away, or filed.  That's a good feeling.  And I am trying not to let it happen again.  Inevitably, a box or pile gets stacked together when we're having people over and I haven't gotten the table cleaned off, but I usually am getting through it in a day or two.  And why is cleaning off the table of clutter so hard???  Is it just me??
Recent projects completed (mostly) include both decks getting finished, finally finishing the basement floor, grinding and staining my parents' back porch floor, and getting my front flower bed planted (phase 1, anyhow).  In-the-near-future projects include painting both rooms in the basement next week, and moving the boys to their new room in the basement soon after.  We also need to stain the back deck, if it ever stops raining.  And we have started ripping up the linoleum to finally tile the front room. 
It has rained SO MUCH in the last month.  Seriously.  I think there were 5 days or less that it didn't rain in all of May, and maybe one day so far in June.  My garden is a complete wreck.  A lot of stuff is yellow, some has died, and the weeds are flourishing, so much that there are a few rows I can't even distinguish among the weeds.  I tried to step out there once and sank up to my shins.
Paul's parents celebrated their 40th Anniversary last Sunday.  Paul, Elizabeth, and I threw them a surprise dinner and reception, and nearly 100 people showed up to bless them. 
I guess also, a reason for not blogging is my discovery of Downton Abbey.  I'm a bit late to jump on the bandwagon, but I love that show.  It's not without it's faults, but they are much fewer than many shows - no nudity or crudity, and zero language.  I have even gotten Paul to watch it with me, not just here and there, but every episode.  We just finished Season 5, and I have to say, that was the BEST season finale of any show I have ever watched.  Since Season 6 is not on DVD yet, my evening free time should be a little free-er.  :)
We are about a week away from finishing school for the summer.  (It seems late, but let me remind you we didn't start til late October due to the house project.)  Close to finishing the seatwork, anyhow.  I'm still not sure what we're going to do with Nathan's reading over the summer.  I really would like him to do a full phonics/reading course so he can catch up, but I think getting him to do seatwork will be like trying to give him an appendectomy with no anesthesia.  And about as pleasant for me, too.  We'll figure it out.  Just daily practice will go a long ways.
Anyhow.  That's a bit about what's going on.  Now to find the girl-child and put her in bed for a nap.  She skipped her nap yesterday, and I now know what the term "hot mess" is all about.  That was her by 8 PM.  So today the nap is non-negotiable.

A Long While

Oh my goodness, how long has it been since I actually posted an update?
It was just a bit busy during February and the beginning of March.  Now life has slowed down, and the weather has warmed up, and we are doing good.
I don't even know where to begin. 
The reason I was so busy in February was that I helped plan and put on our church's main (only?) event for women.  We have an annual one-day "mini-retreat."  This year,  we called it "A Season for Everything" and I have to say, I think it was the best yet.  We had 5 women talk about the different seasons of life that they are in or have been in, and what got them through it.  It was amazing how God tied everything together.  We didn't really know any of what the others would talk about, but yet the theme, the ideas, and the Scripture all pointed back to the same things.
We also did an Awana Grand Prix workshop the last weekend of February, followed by the Grand Prix event the first weekend of March.
The second weekend of March I went with nearly 30 women from the Ottawa area to Women's Encounter.  I didn't personally have any friends going as attendees, but I think God knew that I needed this time for ME.  It has been a long two years since the last time I went.  With nursing, not sleeping, and trying to live in it while finishing the projects..... Even though all of those things are getting better, I needed this rejuvination.  I got to give a gospel presentation to 267 women.  And I got to spend the weekend serving with 6 awesome women that have done so much to challenge and encourage and inspire me (my mom and sister included).  It was a great time to realize how much I appreciate the ladies that God has placed in my life. 
Paul and I celebrated our 11th anniversary on March 20.  We went out for BBQ and rented a couple movies.  (Loved Fury, a movie about a tank crew in WWII.  The newest Hunger Games installment, Mockingjay, was a snoozer.)  Every anniversary gets more and more low key, but I am perfectly fine with that.  I love loving my husband!  I'm so thankful for our marriage and the strength and commitment my husband has.... Even on days that I'm not very friendly.
As for the kids....
Gideon has been sleeping through the night ever since I weaned him in December.  He went from waking up 2-4 times a night while nursing, to a solid 8-12 hours.  I got used to that REAL fast, but I still feel like I'm catching up from last year.  The last couple days he's been a bit fussy and grumpy.  I think it's more teeth, even though all 16 are broken through.  It doesn't seem like Gideon eats more than 2 bites at meals.  Even at snacks, he very rarely eats more then a few bites.  The only thing he'll chow down is bananas.  He loves to play "I'm gonna get you!" and will run through the house squealing with laughter as someone chases him.  The older boys love playing this game with him.  He's not talking yet (surprise, surprise).  He nods and shakes his head - not always the right motion for the answer he's trying to give, but it's a step!  And he has one-syllable sounds for some words, like please and thank you and milk.  I was hoping he would be different than the last two, but he's shaping up to be silent til he's 2, just like they were.  (He's almost 16 months.)  He's still pretty high-maintenence when it comes to needing entertained.  He wants to be held most of the time when I'm around.
Zadie is.... Zadie!  That's all I can say, and for anyone that knows her, that says it all!  She's such a little boss.  She is so different than the boys!  She talks to her toys, and her toys talk to each other.  The other day, her hot dog and her toy girl were having a conversation about a toy pteredactyl!  She is really into clothes, but not in a prissy way.  She wants a pretty dress, but then she'll go out and dig in the dirt and climb trees.  Lately, she's been wanting me to braid her hair all the time, which really helps with the tangle situation - if we can get past the drama of brushing it out.  I'm sure our neighbors (who live a quarter mile away!) can hear her screaming like she's being skinned alive!  Some days I just don't want to deal with that.  She still loves her babies, and talks about being a mommy.  The other day she showed me that she was nursing her baby.  Paul wasn't sure what to think, but I think it's great that she has a concept of what's natural.  She also has wanted to start doing "school."  This consists on flashcards to teach her colors, and a calendar like the boys' that she gets to draw on.  Her 3rd birthday is in a couple weeks.  And we're FINALLY POTTY TRAINED!!!!  We still have an accident occasionally, but it is SO nice to have her using the potty on her own.
Jacob has really picked up on reading.  He blasted through all the short vowels and consanants.  He's stuck on long vowels, but I think it's because it requires effort and thought.  He is totally my child when it comes to that.  "I'll do it if it's easy."  But he's also figured out that if he just DOES his school, instead of whining and wandering off, he can get it done SO FAST.  Like seriously, two hours tops.  He's only got about a dozen math lessons left for Kindergarten.  I'm not sure what we're going to do for a stopping place on reading, since we're not really using a curriculum at this point.  I know we'll do some type of reading through the summer, just not sure what yet.
School is getting better with Nathan, most days.  Part of it is I've made a concious effort to change my attitude.  He reflects my attitude.  Some days it's hard.  But I offer grace, again and again (just like God does for us).  I discipline him when he needs it, but show excitement and give enthusiastic praise for good work minutes later, so he can see I'm not holding his bad attitude against him if he will choose to change it.  He's come a long way in his reading.  He's still behind what our curriculum says he should be (probably reading at a 1st grade level according to their standards), but I'm not too worried about it, since he's interested in it and making effort.  We will probably do full reading/phonics curriculum over the summer to try to catch him up.  Jacob is close to catching Nathan, but a lot of that is because it's come very naturally to Jacob (how I was as a child), whereas Nathan really had to think about it at first.  Math is definitely the subject that takes the most time in his school, as he has a math lesson (where I teach new concepts), a time test, a two-sided worksheet (one is supposed to be homework, but that never happens if we try to do it later), plus counting, time, and money questions.  I haven't done as well at drilling the math tables as I should have, but he at least has the skills to figure them out if he can't recall them by rote memorization.  I would prefer he doesn't have to use fingers, but sometimes I still do!
We're finishing up on the house projects.  The electricity in the boys' rooms (play room and bed room) is done, so Paul is finishing putting up sheet rock (right at this moment, actually!).  He finished the sheetrock in the main stairway as well, so now all we have to do is paint.  Paint..... So much of that to do, and I don't even want to think about it.  It's kind of an overwhelming thought, mostly because I know that every aspect of life otherwise will have to come to a standstill to get those projects done, so I am not looking forward to it.  (But I priced hiring it out, and NO WAY.)  Paul got the small deck on the east side of the house put back on - CHANGED MY LIFE.  It is so nice to be able to walk across a porch to access the house, rather than having the all the dirt from the yard applied directly to my floors.  (We have no grass for about 20 feet in any direction from the house.)  We got 3 beautiful solid-wood doors, for the two new bathrooms and the boys' bedrooms.  So the back bathroom is fully funcional and private (previously just had a curtain).  Paul got the toilet installed in the downstairs bathroom, but we're a while out from getting the shower put in.  I told him that the back deck is higher on my priority list.  Having a bathroom downstairs is really going to mess up the boys' school routine - their favorite trick to try is the "I need to go poop!" excuse, and then they promptly disappear for a half an hour.  Going to look for the missing truant means the remaining boy will escape or become totally distracted.  So having toilet and sink down there solves all excuses!
Warm weather means we're planning a garden and flower beds.  My main flower bed got completely torn out, so all there is is bare dirt at the front of our house between the house and the driveway.  I'm excited to start from scratch, but also overwhelmed at the options for such a huge amount of square footage.  I'm also looking forward to replenishing the vegetable supply.  This having to buy produce is crap.  And no one likes the frozen store veggies, so other than salads, we haven't been doing too well on healthy eating!
Anyhow.  That's a glimpse of life lately.  I'll try to put up pictures soon.

Overheard: Great Mothering

Good night, boys.
If you get up in the middle of the night, and fall and break your face, I'm not feeling sorry for you.  This room is disgusting.


....They did clean it a few days later, but it didn't last long.

Overheard:

"Nathan, you need to clean your room.  It is a disaster area."
"It is clean!  I cleaned it last night!"
"No, you didn't.  It was still a mess when you went to bed."
"I did clean it!  I made a path!"

Rhodes Report 2014

This is my annual letter - "Christmas letter," if you will - that I send out after the first of the year.  This years was record length, I think.

As I was reflecting on the start of the New Year, and looking back on the past year, the words to one of our family’s favorite songs kept going through my head:

The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning; It's time to sing Your song again.
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me, Let me be singing when the evening comes.

Bless the Lord, O my soul, O my soul!  Worship His holy name.
Sing like never before, O my soul!  I’ll worship Your holy name.

--“10,000 Reasons” by Matt Redman and Jonas Myrin

I can’t think of a better thought to begin the New Year – WHATEVER happens – BLESS THE LORD!

This has been a year of “whatever” – and what a year it has been!

We opened 2014 more exhausted than ever before in our life.  Our newest, Gideon (born December 2013), refused to sleep at night.  One or both of us spent every night rocking, walking, holding, and praying for him to sleep.  The good news is, it got better.  The bad news is, it took several months for him to start sleeping on his own at night (and he didn’t sleep through the night –at all- ‘til after he turned 1).  But now all of that is behind us, and Gideon is a happy, active 1-year-old who walks (runs), climbs, wrestles, and explores.  He has 12 (!) teeth and the most adorable smile.  He nods and shakes his head when you ask him questions, and has the most infectious laugh. 

Zadie turned 2 in April.  Even though she jabbered constantly, she didn’t start talking intelligibly until late summer.  In the months since then, her vocabulary has grown by leaps and bounds, and we can understand almost every word now.  She is a little mother, constantly bossing the household around.  She is also a girly-girl.  Everything pink, sparkly, fluffy, and otherwise fancy she loves.  She adores jewelry and is obsessed with shoes.  She constantly asks to have her fingernails painted.  Thankfully, she also loves being a “Mommy” and playing with her babies and cooking in her kitchen.  She has recently decided she’s going to use the potty.  That can’t happen soon enough; I am SO done with having two in diapers.

Jacob turned 5 in October.  We started Kindergarten with him this fall.   He seems to pick things up very quickly.  Some of it may be “spillover” from being present as Nathan learned these things, but he just seems to have a very quick mind in remembering things.  Math he’s breezing through, doing several lessons a day, and even though reading is a bit more work for him, but he’s still doing great for a 5-year-old!  He enjoys Legos, kitties, outdoors, and dinosaurs.  He’s always willing to help, whether it be sweeping the floor at home, or doing chores at Grammy and Pa-Pa’s.  In December, Jacob had surgery to repair a small hernia above his belly button – the hereditary weak spot – and it didn’t slow him down one bit.

Nathan turned 7 in September.  He’s in 2^nd grade at home.  We are still behind in reading, but made a huge turn this summer when he finally decided that reading might be useful, and stopped arguing and started trying.  He’s making good progress and can read simple books.  We have a deal made for his time tests in Math – if he can complete it in less than 2 minutes, he gets a dollar toward buying a watch.  He always scores 100, but the higher addition tables take a while for him to figure in his head.  Nathan enjoys anything army, camouflage, or gun-related – so of course, Duck Dynasty!  He spends hours playing with his Legos and drawing or acting out army scenes.  He is very helpful with projects, doing a lot of work on the house this year (installing sheetrock and flooring), side-by-side with his dad or Grandpa.

Paul and I celebrated 10 years of marriage in March.  It’s been pretty close to a “perfect 10”, and we couldn’t be happier.  We love loving each other, and are truly thrilled to be best friends.  Paul just completed his 15^th year at AGC (6^th as a supervisor).  I am so proud of him.  I still “just” stay home.  In July, I had a [repeat] hernia surgery (same spot as Jacob’s).  Hopefully we are done with that issue.

To explain our crazy summer, I have to first start with last spring.  Paul and I wanted to do some updates and improvements to the house.  We knew our floors weren’t level (by several inches), so before replacing doors and windows, we wanted to see what we could do about leveling up the house.  It turns out that our floors weren’t level because two of our rock foundation walls were collapsing.  After having 3 companies come and give us inspections and estimates, and much prayer, we made the decision to completely tear out our stone cellar and foundation…… And replace it with a full concrete basement.  So now we have level floors – and twice as much living space as a year ago! 

We could not live in the house while work was being done – no water or gas, plus the fact that the whole thing was up on jacks!  We spent 12 weeks living in Williamsburg with Paul’s parents.  We so appreciate all of their help and generosity.  We moved back in the first week of October.  Paul has 3 months down on finishing this project….  And 20 years to go!  We tore off our old back porch/laundry room/utility room/disaster area (which would not have stayed attached to the house had we tried to jack it up with the rest of it), and replaced it with a new, taller, brighter back porch/mud room, with a half bath.  We moved the laundry, freezers, and hot water tank to the basement.  We will add a full bath in the basement (at some point), and this summer we will complete a bedroom for the older boys (eventually all 3).  The schoolroom is also downstairs – bliss! the dining room table is clean! – along with plenty of space to play.  With all new plumbing and ductwork – plus no wind howling through cracks in the rock foundation – our house is much warmer and draft free (and no frozen pipes!).

We can’t talk about the basement project without giving glory to God!  It was obvious from start to finish that this was God and He was blessing us in outrageous ways.  From the huge things – like providing the money – to the small – like our freezers were empty when we had to move them to the shop – we have felt His guidance every step.  We are overjoyed that He saw fit to give us this blessing.

Homeschool was an adventure this year.  The combination of a nursing baby, a demanding toddler, and an incredibly tired mommy made for lots of days of doing the bare minimum.  I think we took 3 spring breaks, so we weren’t done with school yet when we moved out in July.  The boys finally finished up in August while we were living at Grandpa & Grandma’s, and we didn’t start up again until October when we moved back home.  That’s the beauty of homeschooling!  We took a break from music lessons this year.  My lack of sleep for six months and our insane summer, combined with daily whining and arguing about practicing, made this one thing that became not important to me at this point.  Life has settled down now and we hope to take that task back up sometime soon.

Last year when I wrote this letter, my little sister was recently home from her two years in Africa with the Peace Corps.  In March, her boyfriend that she had met while living in Zambia came to visit.  In June, he went back home……. As her husband!  Carlsie and Jono now live in Zimbabwe, which is where Jono grew up.  Jono works as Chief Agronomist for Green Fuel, a huge farm that grown sugar cane for ethanol production.  We are thrilled to add Jono to our family!

We were able to take a small trip to Silver Dollar City in October.  We planned it in January, before we’d even imagined the basement project.  We were only home for two weeks before we left again, but it was a great time.  We had a “family reunion” of sorts, which included Paul’s parents , his sister, his aunt and her husband, and his cousin and her husband and their 3 kids.  The kids thoroughly enjoyed their time together, as did the grown-ups.  It was a nice time to just relax and enjoy fun together.

We are still blessed to be part of the family at Ottawa Bible.  We are involved in Awana, and a weekly small group that meets at the church.  The older boys and I helped out with our 14^th annual Bethlehem experience, which they loved.  We had over 1200 guests come through this year.  We have also gone several times to local nursing homes to do some music ministry.  Paul is still very involved with Men’s Encounter, and we both look forward to serving at several Encounters again this year.

Obviously, our lives are full and busy.  We are truly blessed, and we count you each as a blessing, that you are our family and friends.  We hope the New Year finds you happy and hopeful as you look to the future.  We may never know what the future holds, but we know the One who holds the future, so we can find peace in trusting in Him.

Love to all,

Paul & Rachel

Nathan, Jacob, Zadie, and Gideon

The Other Photos......

So I finally sent out my New Year's letter (I gave up with trying to get it out before Christmas, so calling it a "New Year's letter" takes the pressure off).
I almost didn't send a picture.  We've been plagued by various illnesses, and things have been tight financially, but then I thought.....  The pictures are my favorite part of receiving letters!  Plus, it's only like $7 to print them if you have a coupon.
I never made it to my sister's to have her take nice portraits of us.  So we herded the kids outdoors today (first day above freezing in weeks!) and tried to get a decent shot.  (And yes, Gideon is in his pajamas.  It's just normal day attire for us!)

Trying to photograph children is like herding cats - impossible!
Gideon would not stand still.  At all.  (If they held him, he screamed.  If they let him go, he charged straight at me.)

Oh, by all means, let's bring the dog in!  That will help......

And of course when Gideon does stay put, no one is looking at the camera.

Almost......

Close.....  But I was hoping for better smiles.

 

In the end, I went with the first photo I took.  I wish you could see Zadie better, but they're all real smiles, and it shows their real personalities.  And this is real life for us (chaos)!

Overheard:

We are in the middle of potty training with Zadie.  She's about 90% pee-trained, but about zero percent poop-trained.  Gross.
She escaped naked from the bathroom after an epic poop clean-up:

"Zadie, what happened to your underpants??"
"They died."






Yep, pretty much.

The 60-Second Pick Up!

Earlier this week, by a stroke of inspiration, I came up with a kids cleaning idea that may change my life.  Definitely my house!
I was sitting on the couch, and getting frustrated at the "kid-clutter" all over the floor - shoes, socks, dirty clothes, toys.... you get the picture.  The kids were running back and forth, chasing each other, so I hollered out, "Boys!  Get in here.  We're going to take 60 seconds and pick up this room."  So I started counting.....  It definitely wasn't just 60 seconds, as I stopped to instruct, "26.....  27...... That goes in the bathroom.  In the hamper not on the floor!...... 28..... Put those on the back porch.  Hang them up....... 29....."  But they really jumped on it, racing to see if they could get it picked up before I got done counting.  I was so pleased with the result that I gave both boys a dollar when they were done.  (I never give monetary rewards - I'm too tight!)
I've employed it at least once daily since then.  (No payouts these times though.)  Nathan has caught on that it's not exactly a game, so he doesn't race any more - he can't seem too eager to please! - but at least he still contributes without arguing. We've used it on the living room, the front room, the dining room, and the back porch.  Tomorrow I'm going to see how it goes for the bathroom.
I think the reason it works so well is that they know they only have to clean until I reach 60, so it's not an open-ended task.  As soon as we reach 60, they get to go back to playing, and Mommy is happy.
And when Mommy is happy, everybody is happy. :)

Life..... Beyond the Home Improvements

So there is more to life than our home improvements.  And I haven't talked about it in a while.
Where to begin?
I mentioned a month or so back about Gideon's sleep schedule.  Well, apparently that week was a fluke.  He's probably only slept two nights through in all the time since.  We just finished weaning, and I think we have finally (finally - finally - FINALLY!) established a daytime schedule, but I have had to fight tooth and nail (and other pertinent body parts) for it.  Tough love, lots of clinging, crying, and screaming.  (And not all of that coming from Gideon! :) )  He gets up in the morning about 8, goes down for a nap at 1, sleeps for 2-4 hours (oh how I wish 4 was the norm!), and then goes to bed at 8.  We're past the point that I have to deliberately keep him awake, but not to the point that he can entertain himself.  He still wants me to carry him everywhere.  So even though the rest of my body has gone to flab, I have some pretty serious biceps.
We wrapped up weaning right as he turned a year.  At 24 pounds, and 30 inches tall, he was definitely getting too big.  Not to mention he had started doing "baby yoga" positions - while nursing.  There was more yanking and biting going on than actual nursing.  However, switching him over to "real food" wasn't easy.  He just didn't want to eat.  He'd spit it out or slap away my hand with the spoon....  Let me tell ya how that went over!  But as I figured, once he got hungry enough, he began eating real meals.  Although I have to watch, because his appetite now exceeds his concentration level for feeding himself.  So he'll stop eating what's in front of him, but can eat two or three more servings if someone feeds it to him.
The best, most glorious thing about Gideon having a sleep schedule is that it exactly coincides with Zadie's.  I put him down for nap at 1, and come down and put her to nap within 15 minutes usually.  (She sleeps in our room, since naptime is too precious for me to risk having one wake up the other prematurely.)  Then I do school with the boys.  I would prefer to get it over with in the morning, but I guess the good thing is that by afternoon, the boys have had their time to go outside, play with Legos, do whatever, so this is their "bored time" and I give them something to do.
Whereas fights with Nathan last year were daily, if not hourly, this year they are much fewer.  Math is still reviewing (remember, we couldn't start school til October when we moved back home), so it's easy for him and he loves it when he already knows what he's being taught.  (We're still working on patience and the concept that "practice makes perfect.")  He's figured out that reading might be helpful - aided, I think, by the fact that all of his friends are now reading well - so he wants to try at it.  I did spend a chunk of money on supplemental materials for him - flashcards, phonics work pages, etc - and the new things really piqued his interest.  Not to mention we now have 5 different methods for going over the same material every day, but since it's all different, he doesn't get so bored or frustrated.  He can sound out most short-vowel words, but he is still very slow to put them together.
Jacob has got the school thing figured out.  Sit down, get it done quickly, then get back to playing!  His school is still pretty easy.  He knows a lot of the stuff already from Nathan learning them.  So some days in math we can do 3 or 4 lessons.  He is eager to please with his reading, although he gets bored if he thinks it's taking too long.  Frequently he'll ask to go get a drink, then just disappear until I hunt him down.
We took a break from music over the summer and haven't started up again.  Part of it is the craziness of life lately.  The other part is it's not worth it for me.  I'm not going to beg and plead and barter and fight with my son to play an instrument.  I have too many things to do to waste time arguing with him over every little thing.  When he decides he wants to play and practice the way it's supposed to be done, we'll take it up again.  And we're getting close.  He got his violin out this week and found all his music and set up his stand.  And when the holidays are over, I will press him a little more.  It's something we can do in the morning while the little ones are awake.
As for Zadie...... Oh, Zadie!  She is such a handful.  My brother has a phrase he uses, "a swirling vortex of drama."  And that pretty much describes her.  She is happy and carefree, but she can turn on the screaming screeching in an instant - and then go back again!  Oh, my goodness.  If this is what all girls are like, it's a good thing we only have one!  She is all girl.  Everything pink, sparkly, and girly is HERS.  She loves clothes, jewelry, shoes, and dolls and babies.  She's such a little mother.  At the beginning of summer, we were probably only understanding 10% of what she said, and I'd say now we can understand 90%, now that we've figured out her annunciations.  She has not what I'd call a lisp, but she mis-pronounces certain letters.  She jabbers constantly to us, to her toys, to herself.
I had surgery in August to repair a hernia.  I had the same surgery two years ago, but they didn't put in a big enough patch, and it tore another weak spot.  The hernia was about the size of my fist - disgusting.  I am the proud bearer of a 4-inch mesh patch holding in my insides.  Recovery took longer - I'd say 10 days - before I felt on top of things, and a month before I was back to normal.
Jacob inherited the same weak belly genes.  He's had a tiny hernia since he was a baby, but it has always "reduced" (gone back in).  This autumn, I noticed it pooching out more often, so finally checked it and it wouldn't push back in.  Even though it wasn't an emergency, we made the decision to get it fixed now so it can be well-healed and strong by the time he's a teenager.  Hopefully it's the last we'll have to deal with hernias in our family.
I finally got on top of the house.  I have conquered 4 "baskets-o-crap" and have two left.  (In case you're not familiar with the term, a "basket-o-crap" is what you get when you're in the middle of cleaning and sorting and you need the table.  All of that gets shoved into a box or basket to be dealt with later.  Sometimes it's a month later.....)  I kind of laid it down to everyone about pulling their weight around here.  We all live here, we all keep it clean.
So life is returned to normal.  I'm looking forward to the youngest being a little less "baby" so I can do a little more without him on my arm.  But we are happy, healthy, and growing closer with each other and God, so life is good!

Overheard:

"James 2:10, For whoever keeps the whole law, and yet stumbles in one point, he is guilty of breaking all of it."
"So that's like saying you haven't stolen anything, but you have disobeyed your parents, so that's the same as killing someone."


(Yep.  That bit of logic was not from the 5- or 7-year old.  That was from their mother.  Paul just shook his head.  It makes perfect sense to me.......)