Swimsuit Shopping

Just when I was starting to feel good about my new mommy figure, I went swimsuit shopping.
It was not to be avoided. My last swimsuit I got when I was a senior in high school. It hasn't fit well for the last couple years, but since I don't swim much, I just wore it anyways.
But now post-Nathan, everything is shaped different. And we're going on a trip this weekend, and staying at a hotel with a pool. Decent swimsuit has become a necessity.
And let me tell you about the selection of swimsuits at Wal Mart. There are three choices. We have the super-trendy: chunky beads, gold chains, and belts. We have the old lady: garish Hawaiian print and huge tent-shaped skirts. We have the cheap: thin fabric and no extra padding (which is necessary not for adding size, but for the "nip guard" factor).
Of all of the one-pieces there were only two that I'd even think about being seen in public in - a dark red one and a black and white one. So I took those two selections into the dressing room where I found out two lessons immediately:
Even though I recently bought a size 12 dress, and size 14 jeans, a swimsuit that says 12/14 isn't guaranteed to fit. I got it up about mid-thigh and thought, "This isn't going to work." But I reminded myself that swimsuits need to be snug, so I writhed and wriggled and got it on up. I got it over my shoulders and looked in the mirror. As I see bits of myself bulging out of every opening, I realized lesson #2. Swimsuits are apparently sized to fit women more in the 5'6" range. The neckline of this thing was residing somewhere decidedly below my neckline. Well below.
I went back to the rack, only to find that this late in the season, there are gaps in the sizes. And the gaps are always the size that I need. I did find the red one in the next two sizes. The next size up still made me a little bulgy on the bottom half, so I put on the next size bigger - do you know what it did to my pride to be trying on size 18/20? Not that there's anything wrong with wearing that size, but I thought I was a size 12/14!
The bigger size fit okay, but I just didn't like how it looked enough to justify spending $30. If I'm going to drop that type of money on clothing, I want to love it, and love how I look in it.
Back to the racks.
Having exhausted the possibilites in one-pieces, I moved on to the two pieces.
I don't know why they make bikinis that fit gals like me. I'm pretty sure the rest of the world doesn't want to see me in a string bikini. I don't want to see me in a sting bikini.
I thought about one of those tankinis, but realized I would still have to wear something so cover the rest of my [wonderfully stretch-marked] belly. Plus, there was only one that didn't have some hideous belt on the bottom. So I looked at the basic bikinis.
Don't picture it too much, but what I settled on was a plain brown bikini, some cute brown swim shorts, and an orange tank. Four pieces that fit me better, and still cost less than that one-piece. And I am happier with this selection, because that means that when Nathan and I are hanging out in our kiddie pool in the backyard, I can just wear the two pieces and get a sort of a tan (as much as you can in the shade).
Because my one-year-old won't judge me for looking hideous in a bikini.