Thursday, June 1, 2017

"So, Are You Done Yet?"

When I tell someone we have 5 kids, almost always people ask if we're going to have more.
I could choose to be offended, but I'm not really.  But it really isn't anyone's business except our own.  So if I give you an answer that you're not okay with, please take it with a measure of understanding.  You don't have to like my answer.  Our choice to have a large family effects no one but us - we don't take government handouts (except those child tax credits!) and we don't use the public education system or public healthcare.
We didn't set out to have 5 kids.  We started marriage thinking 4 was the perfect number, but somewhere along the way we had a shift in ideals.  I think it started when we struggled with infertility.  Then along the way God challenged us with the notion of trusting Him - truly trusting Him.
The best explanation I have for our choice is:

We're not going to purposely break something that we begged and pleaded God to fix.  

Does this mean we plan to have more kids?  Not necessarily.
Does this mean we want more kids?  Not necessarily!  My heart and hands are full.  But I know that God gives the grace and strength we need when we need it - and that He gives me just enough that I have to rely on Him!
It just means we have no leading from God on the matter, and are unwilling to take destiny into our own hands.  What if the child we deny is the one who will change the world?
That doesn't mean we're trying to get pregnant.  But it does mean that this is our choice, and it's one that we have to answer to God for.
So - Are we done yet?
Only God knows!

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