Current 3-Year-Old-isms

• Ummm.... Not quite yet. (His answer to questions such as, "Can you pick up the toys?" or "Are you ready to go yet?")
• I already went potty last week! (Apparently he's learning the concept of time - and will use a little while ago, last night, last week, last month, or last year interchageably.)
• Oh. [looks up with eyes bugging out] I need to poop!
• Yes, Mommy? [sweet and innocent voice] (This takes all the steam out of my exasperation - luckily he hasn't figured that out yet!)
• [Me: "Nathan can you pick up all the toys?] Not right now. ("Child experts" say to ask your kids, you get a better response. What do you do with this response?)
• You sing the Baby C's? [A-B-C's]

There's more. And I love 3-year-old philosophy. Sometimes I find it hard to keep a straight face when listening to him explain things. I love him. I love both of them, so much! (I can't wait to hear Jake's -ism's when he starts talking!)

Omaha

As I mentioned in a previous entry, Paul and I went on "what was supposed to be a romantic getaway."
In spite of everything that happened, I still had a great time. I loved our trip and was so glad that we took it.
For Christmas, Paul and I bought tickets to see one of our favorite musicians. Paul "discovered" him last year on Playlist.com, and started looking up his music other places. His name is David Garrett, he is a "rock violininst" from Germany. The best way to describe his music is he takes classical music and puts a "rock" spin on it, or he takes rock music (by artists such as Metallica, Van Halen, or Micheal Jackson) and interprets them through violin. He is very, very talented. When Paul found out he would be doing a tour in the USA, he looked up locations, and we found out that he would be, of all places, in Omaha (3 1/2 hours away). So we bought 2 tickets as our only Christmas gifts to each other.
Since it wasn't even in our imagination that we'd be pregnant, the plan was a steak dinner, the concert, and an entire bottle of wine between the two of us (which sounds like a lot, but is actually only like 2 glasses each), lots of soaking in the hot tub, and lots of......romance. Just the two of us, husband and wife, not Mommy and Daddy. When we found out we were pregnant, that took out the hot tub (at least the hot part of the hot tub - it would have to be more like a lukewarm tub) and the wine. When we found out we were having a miscarriage, that took out everything else but the steak and the concert.
But I really had a wonderful time. We had over 6 hours of talking in the car, a great (albeit horribly overpriced!) dinner, and the concert was amazing. I enjoyed the music so much, and I think watching Paul enjoy it made it that much better for me. (For those of you that don't know - Paul plays violin, too. He is tremendously talented, and will always be my favorite musician, but I have to say.... I'm thinking David Garrett may be my second favorite. :P )
I had the actual miscarriage in the middle of the night. I started having contractions and knew what was coming. Paul stayed up with me, doing things for me that no husband should ever have to do. I am so grateful for him. In looking back, this was probably the best way it could have happened, being just the two of us. For the next 24 hours, I was physically weaker than I have been in my entire life, even more than after labor with either boy, and he took care of me the whole time, encouraging me to sleep, carrying all the luggage, and making sure I didn't overdo it. He is the best husband I could ever ask for.
So our romantic getaway really was romantic. But in ways so much different and so much deeper than we had ever planned.
And I am totally looking forward to the next time Mr. Garrett is back in our area.


If you're interested, the below video (6 minutes) is kind of an interview and overview of David Garrett's music.

Comments on the video:
Thank GOD he did not wear those pants at the concert we were at. My respect for him may have dropped a few points after seeing him in those.
The scary guitar chick was not at "our" concert. Yikes.
Neither was the orchestra - it was just his band (drums, bass guitar, 2 other guitars, keyboard), which I think I liked better.
And he really should have pulled his hair back for the interview. He looks pretty girly with it down around his face like that.
That's all.

Oh - except: My favorite song of his was not on that clip. Click here to watch it on YouTube. (And may I say, I dislike 90% of the pictures on that slideshow. So much different than the way he presents himself on stage!)
I may or may not have embarrassed my husband by the enthusiasm of my applause before and after he performed it. (And may I mention - the first person I ever heard play this song was my husband. :) )

Blessed Be Your Name

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

We're singing this song for church Sunday, because I needed to sing it. My head is there, but I need to make sure my heart is, too. During praise team practice, I had a little bit of a hard time, but I was singing with my heart, not just my lips. And I'm glad I can say that.

Thanks, everyone, for your prayers. I am doing so much better than I thought I would be. We both are. I still am sad, but it doesn't bring tears to my eyes to think about it. The hardest thing lately has been when Paul read my blog before I posted it, he changed what I had written beneath the ultrasound picture, Precious Baby, to Angel Rhodes. He told me he thought that was an appropriate name for a girl or a boy.

I struggled with whether to even mention it had happened. But then I thought, this is such a major thing in our life, I don't just want to pretend it didn't happen. But I also don't want to burden others and be like, "Hey, you need to be feeling sorry for me."

But I do think that miscarriage needs to quit being such a "taboo" subject. If we are truly pro-life, then that baby is a baby, and a woman should be allowed to grieve her baby the same, whether it's 9 months old, or 9 weeks old. You can't say that because her baby was the size of a pea, it didn't matter to her as much. Every life is precious.

I promise another (happier!) post soon - but today is a busy day. It's my best friend's birthday (Happy birthday, Brooke!), and I am going to go help my sister, who had to have her appendix removed Monday. Plus this, and that, and the other.....

But who cares, because the sun is shining, and it's going to be 70 degrees today! It will be a glorious day!

I Can't Be Clever.

For almost three weeks, I was trying to come up with a clever way to make my announcement. Now I get to make the announcement, and it’s not what I wanted to be telling everyone:
I was pregnant.
…..was.
On January 20th, Paul and I found out I was expecting. It was totally unplanned, and a complete surprise - I wasn’t even sure I could get pregnant without using fertility drugs (like we had to with both boys). I had been having symptoms - tired, thirsty, and weird food cravings, but I just chalked it up to the horrible cold I had. But when I started feeling sick to my stomach every day, and told Paul that one of our favorite foods sounded gross, he asked, “Are you pregnant?” The thought had crossed my mind, but every time I was sure I’ve had symptoms, the pregnancy test was negative, so I refused to think so. Then the next morning, my varicose veins were horrible, and I said, “Okay.” We went and bought a test before our big date, and it immediately showed positive! (Afterwards, we counted up a dozen symptoms I’d been having, and hadn’t even paid attention to…. I guess I didn’t think it was possible.)
We decided to wait a while to tell people. We hadn’t been expecting it, so we knew no one else would be suspecting anything. Two weeks later, we told his parents, and two days after that, I told my family while we were all together. I wanted to wait to tell friends until we had a sonogram and knew a due date, because according to my weird cycles (or lack thereof), I could have been due anywhere from the middle of August to the end of September.
The day after I told my family, I started spotting (on a Sunday). I knew this was common for some women, even though it wasn’t for me in my two previous pregnancies, so I tried not to worry too much. I called the doctor on Monday, but she wasn’t in, so I decided to wait until my appointment Tuesday morning. I knew if something bad was happening, there wasn’t anything that could be done, anyways, so I wasn‘t going to go to the hospital.
As I expected, Tuesday morning, my doctor sent me to have a sonogram. But instead of getting to see our little baby wiggling around, we saw that there was no heartbeat.
Our baby was 8 weeks old.
I miscarried that night, while Paul and I were on what was supposed to be a romantic getaway.

Even though this baby was unplanned, it in no way was unwanted. We were both so excited to be adding to our family, and were so disappointed to find out it wasn’t going to be so. It’s probably the hardest thing our marriage has been through, and I am glad to say, we’ve come out stronger.
Every day is getting better. The first day was the hardest, when the grief was so fresh, and my body was so weak. But we’ve moved on, and I’ve thanked God for everything - letting us be able to get pregnant on our own, having those few short weeks of joy and excitement, and even the way the miscarriage happened. I praise Him that His ways are higher than my ways.

Angel Rhodes, Resting with Jesus.
February 8, 2011 - 8 weeks

Forget Productiveness.

It's 15 degrees outside.
With a -5 (at least) windchill.
We've got 4 inches of snow on the ground,
With another 4-8 inches predicted.
I have a hearty, home-cooked meal in the crock pot.
I fed the kids a decent lunch (chicken burritos).
But it looks like the blizzard is IN the house.
I really should pick some stuff up.
But.....
Forget productiveness.
I'm going to go take a hot shower
(Before all our pipes freeze)
And go stay warm under the covers with my sleeping husband
(Who I hope will call in to work tonight).