Paul is working 12 hour nights this week - 7 PM to 7 AM.
Last night the boys double-teamed me with fusiness and crying. For an hour. That was not fun. And compound the problem: Jacob wanted to nurse because he was fussy, and Nathan wanted to snuggle because he was fussy. So I'd switch back and forth - hold one on my lap and set the other one next to me and pat him.
Luckily tonight we didn't have that problem.
However, we did have a Mommy/Nathan showdown. Nathan insists on being carried up the stairs (and down, too, half the time). He is getting heavy. Not heavy enough I can't carry him, but heavy enough that if he made a sudden move while I had him on the stairs, I'd drop him, and he (and maybe me, too) would fall down the very steep, very hard stairs.
So tonight I told him he had to walk upstairs. Long story short.... After about 10 swats and much crying, he finally made it to the top of the stairs. I feel like I should feel bad for standing my ground, but I truly believe that I have to show him that I mean business.... When I tell him to do something, I expect to be obeyed, or there will be consequenses. I've been a marshmellow too long when it comes to getting by with things, and that has got to change.
I can tell already that he's starting to test me to see if I'll stick to my guns. Sure, it's not on the same level an adolescent would test a parent, but I want my (and Paul's) authority to be recognized before we get to that stage.
Anyhow. Off that little bunny trail.
It hasn't been horrible without Paul here at night, but it's definitely easier with two parents. And apparently I'm incapable of going to bed before midnight if he's gone.
It's only 11 now, so I really should get headed that way.... Sooner or later this not sleeping enough at night is going to catch up with me.
4 comments:
I should point out that the incident on the stairs was the final of a several incidents today involving him refusing to go somewhere unless I carried him - including the bathroom (which has resulted in him peeing himself, simply because I won't carry him in there), and holding my hand to walk across the "street" in front of the grocery store. He simply sits down and refuses to budge. Tonight I decided that enough was enough. We have to start somewhere.
And I did hug him and explain to him why he was swatted once we got upstairs. I'm pretty sure he understood.
(I'm worried some will read this and think I'm a horrible parent for spanking my child for not walking up a flight of stairs on his own.)
I don't think that. You have a very strong willed child, and the first battles of this magnitude are going to have to fought in the home. You can't exactly do this in the grocery store parking lot. Little episodes like that in public can put him, you, and Jacob all in danger. He needs to know that certain issues are not up for discussion. I have had some battles lately too, and I have to decide at the outset that I am not going to back down, regardless of how long it takes. She had 4 time-outs in a row Tuesday over the same issue and 2 in a row Wednesday. Slowly making progress.
Note to all young mothers..stick to your guns. As for public discipline, I am so sorry that you have to be careful. I hear parents screaming at kids in Walmart and no one thinks anything about it!!! I encourage you in this-- if your child needs discipline in the store, simply leave the basket of stuff and take your kids home. You may have to get an empty basket to haul the kids out in. Then discipline when you get home. I know it can be a pain but it will be worth the lesson learned. I will never forget the comment made by my sis-in-law when her little guy had to be in an oxygen tent in the hospital. She was soooo glad she had disciplined BEFORE the emergency. The hospital stay was much easier.
Hang in there moms--you are doing great.
PS.... Nathan's strong willed daddy seemed compliant for a long time. So as you read Dr Dobson's book, do not wish for the compliant child.... sometimes that is a disguise.....
PS I was the same.
Mom R
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