Summer Slump

So I don't really have any excuse for not posting, other than sheer laziness.  Why clean the house, when I could sleep?  (Or eat....)  Why fold clothes, when I could sit on the couch and stare at the wall?  (Or tv if the kids are asleep.)  Why play with the kids, when I could wander from room to room, wondering what task I had thought I needed to do there?
So you can guess where blogging ranks on the list.
Geez.  That makes me sound like I have a severe case of depression.
Nope.  Just epic pregnancy brain syndrome.  Combined with the beginnings of summer cabin fever.
The garden is kind of in between stages - my meager spring crops (lettuce, radishes, etc) are done, and my summer ones are not on yet.  We got a late start on the garden because of the wet spring (not complaining!), so everything is behind.
My plans for summer school aren't quite what I thought.  Kicking the kids outside to play trumps fighting Nathan to stay at the table and pay attention.  We are doing a lesson of reading (phonics?  He's not actually reading yet, so I'm not sure what you call it.) every day after lunch when the younger two go upstairs for naps.  He's okay with that, because it's too hot outside by then, and there's no distractions playing nearby, tempting him with toys.
Paul and I have joined/started a Bible study.  (Actually, separate, but related studies.)  Ever since we got married, we had a couples group that got together every other weekend (due to Paul working the other weekends), so we really didn't have time to do a Bible study also.  As we all had kids, it got harder and harder to get together, and since Zadie was born a year ago, it felt very forced to try to get together (8 or more kids,  ages 5 and under, may have had something to do with that....)  After the first of the year, I told Paul I was going to quit pushing to get together.  Apparently everyone else felt that it was time to move on as well, because no one's been trying to get us all together. :)
So I told Paul, if we weren't going to do that, I wanted to join a small group.  There are small groups at our church, but I don't really know if it's proper to invite yourself to an established small group.
But our group kind of materialized on it's own.  Paul and a group of guys from our church went to Encounter in February.  They had follow-up Bible studies for about two months afterwards, and then decided they wanted to keep meeting.  Their meetings were on Tuesday nights, our band practice nights, and one of my singers' husband was in the Bible study, and rather than drive separately from our hubbies (we both live out of town), we would just hang around and visit while we waited on our husbands.  We decided to do something constructive with the time, and start our own study, and two other wives wanted to join us.  So we start with the guys, and have a time of worship together, and then separate and do our studies and prayer time.  We ladies are doing a study of the book Your Spiritual Gifts Can Help Your Church to Grow by C. Peter Wagner.  We've really enjoyed the time and discussions, even if we are a bit distracted by children.  The guys are really getting a lot out of their time together.  And I am so excited about what God is doing in their lives.  The changes in all of them are obvious.  I am so glad they have their time together to grow spiritually and encourage each other.  Men need MEN to encourage them.
In completely unrelated news....
I hate cleaning the kitchen.  It is the most frustrating homemaker duty of all of them.  Most other jobs you do, you can at least tell you've cleaned recently, and they kind of stay semi-clean for a few days.  The kitchen can go from sparkling clean to toxic disaster area in an hour.  Having to endure this process 3 or more times a day is maddening.
As frustrated as I get at my boys for their whining and arguing, when I think about it, I am so proud of them. They are 5 and 3, and the amount they already help out around the house and yard is actually quite amazing. Nathan's daily jobs are unloading the silverware from the dishwasher (which he complains about as much as I complain about cleaning the kitchen) and taking the scraps to the scrap pile (compost heap).  Jacob's jobs are feeding the pets and taking the recycling to the back porch.  They both help Paul take out the trash and take their dishes to the kitchen.  Nathan vacuums, and helps weed the garden and flower beds.  After I pulled the beets, I showed the boys how to wash and take the leaves off them, and they did the rest by themselves and brought them to me in the house.  They water my flowers, and haul branches to the burn pile.  It makes it sound like we run a child labor farm, but it makes me very proud that they see that there is work to be done, and being part of our family means helping out.  (Lest they seem too perfect: sometimes it does take a lecture to remind them of this.)  It also makes me look forward to they day that they are old enough to clean the kitchen by themselves  Especially when there are four of them..... I'll never have to clean the kitchen again!!!  (Insert evil laugh here.)
Okay.  Paul is working nights, and I probably should head to bed soon.  The unfortunate truth of the matter is, that no matter how late I go to bed, the kids still get up at the same time.

Quote to Consider

Tough on myself.
Tender on my spouse.
-Pam Farrel
(I am not 100% sure on the source.  I heard this on the radio.)

If only we all could make ourselves think this way.  Look at our own faults and what we could/should be doing differently before jumping all over our spouse.  (Guilty.)

The Mother of All Excuses

I do have an excuse for why I haven't gotten to posting about some very important things.... Like our beautiful daughter's first birthday.  Or my husband's close call that could have landed him in the hospital or worse.  

I could blame it on finishing up school.  Or housework.  Or gardening.  Or just plain being busy.

But I'm not going to blame it on any of those.  I have The Mother of All Excuses.

Baby #4 is on the way!

Due December 10.

:)

Gaaaah!

Monkeys.  FREAK.  ME.  OUT.
Any of them - anything in the primate family.  The little monkeys, chimpanzees, baboons, gorillas.  GROSS.  Everyone thinks they're so cute, but I just think they look like they want to chew my face off.

*shudder*

That is all.

Encounter: My Label Is Not My Identity

A month later, I'm finally getting around to writing this post.

The Encounter ministry has changed our lives.  It has changed Paul so much - and since he is the leader of our house, we all have changed.  Specifically, our spiritual lives have encountered the most change, which in turn has changed how we live the rest of our lives.  After Paul attended his third Encounter, he strongly encouraged me to go to the Women's Encounter.
I was excited to go - maybe as much because it would be the first time EVER that I've been away from the kids by myself.  (Admittedly, maybe a little guilty and nervous about this as well.)  And, lets face it - after a year of nursing.... I was ready to not have a baby hanging off of me.  I probably knew a little too much of the behind the scenes stuff, what was going to happen, from how Paul has been involved, and me helping him, but I still enjoyed my time very much.  I came back feeling refreshed, confident, and renewed.
The thing that hit me the most powerfully, and I can't explain why, is this:  My labels are not my identity.  My labels are good things!  Wife, Mother, Worship Leader....  Nothing I'm ashamed of.  Maybe that's why it was hard for me?  My good things aren't what matters; I'm not earning God's love by being good.  He loves me because I'm His, He made me, He died for me.
I have what I feel is a healthy sense of self-confidence.  I'm not always striving, always seeking.  I have a peace about who I am and where I am in life, and what I have.  So to be hit powerfully by this message of self worth was surprising to me.
But I got to thinking....  What if my labels weren't good things?  What if my labels were Liar, Adulterer, Thief, Drug Addict?  You know what?  God still would think the same of me.
Maybe some would have a problem with this message - "What?!  I've worked all my life to be good, and you're telling me that it doesn't matter?  God loves me, with all my Spiritual Achievements, as much as he loves her?  Do you KNOW what she's done???"
But that isn't the feeling I get.  It makes me feel so good to know that His love is like that.  Because it means if I fail, and I don't measure up, He's still going to love me.
I hope these ramblings make sense.  I'll close with the lyrics of a song....

"Remind Me Who I Am"

by Jason Gray

When I lose my way,
And I forget my name,
Remind me who I am.
In the mirror all I see,
Is who I don't wanna be,
Remind me who I am.
In the loneliest places,
When I can't remember what grace is.

Tell me once again who I am to You,
Who I am to You.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You,
That I belong to You.
To You.

When my heart is like a stone,
And I'm running far from home,
Remind me who I am.
When I can't receive Your love,
Afraid I'll never be enough,
Remind me who I am.
If I'm Your beloved,
Can You help me believe it.

Tell me once again who I am to You,
Who I am to You, whoa.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You.
That I belong to You.
To You.

I'm the one you love,
I'm the one you love,
That will be enough,
I'm the one you love.

Tell me once again who I am to You.
Who I am to You.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You,
That I belong to You, oh.

Tell me once again who I am to You.
Who I am to You.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You,
That I belong to You.
To You.

So that's what I got from my Encounter.  There is another Women's Encounter coming up the end of July, and I'd like to see some of the ladies that I know personally go.  I'm hoping to be there myself.  The next one for men is in September.

www.EncounterTheCross.com 

And Now for a Brief Word from Our Sponsors......

Oh my gosh, I can't believe it's been 3 weeks since I've posted.  Really, since I've even thought about my blog, even.
We've got sunshine, kittens (oh my gosh, please make them go away!), and flowers.  Who has time for internet??
It's been awesome around here.  Despite snow on the 2nd of May (yes, snow), and a brief stint of too-hot weather in the low 90s, we've had some perfect springtime weather.  The kids have been outside constantly, and we're in full on shorts and barefoot season.  Thankfully it's dried out a little bit, so we're not doing multiple wardrobe changes a day anymore.
Zadie has figured out how to toddle her way out to the play set.  She can climb the ladder to the slide platform on her own.  I was cleaning the kitchen, and I noticed her on the ladder (five steps, 4-foot-tall or so) and hustled out there, trying to not frighten or distract her from holding on. "Nathan!  Get behind Zadie so she doesn't fall down!"
"Oh, she's gone up the ladder and down the slide all by herself!"
I still try to pay attention, but it's been 2 weeks, and she has yet to fall down.  She's happy and entertained, and I'm getting the kitchen cleaned.
We found 5 kittens a few weeks ago.  We knew they were somewhere, because our basketball-shaped mama kitty became thin as a rail overnight.  A week or two later we found three more from another litter.  Then Sunday we found two more - no clue who these belong to, because now all the litters have congregated under the deck, and the mothers nurse them interchangeably.  PLEASE MAKE IT STOP RAINING KITTENS.  Ugh.  We had like 8 cats to begin with, from last year's population explosion.  This is beyond way too many.
We're almost done with school.  We've kind of stalled out.  It's tough to make them do school when it's so beautiful out....  I am a firm believer that kids - boys, especially - learn by doing.  So I want them to be able to play and explore.  But we do have an amount of work that needs to be done at the table as well.  He's done with his math, and all the reading/phonics I think he needs for the year.  We just can't quite finish up his science book.  We've got about 5 lessons left, and my goal is to have it finished by the end of May.  Part of the procrastination about finishing is the fact we won't really be "finished."  I'm going to make him do something all summer, probably switch on and off - a day of reading, a day of math.  The reading I know we'd take a major step back if we let him take a break.
The first of the month was unusually cool and wet, so my garden stalled.  However, I just don't think my beans are going to come up.  So confused about them.  I used these seeds last spring (they're old), and they didn't come up.  I used them again in the fall, and they came up beautifully.  Thankfully, those seeds are all gone, so no more mystery adventure plantings.  We still need to get tomatoes planted (I keep forgetting to go buy the plants!), but otherwise, we're mostly planted.  (Besides obviously needing to replant the beans.)
Since we had cool weather, our flowers are delayed coming out, but the blooms are lasting a lot longer, and I'm loving it!  I'm slowly getting my beds weeded, what hasn't been trampled by kids and kittens.
Anyhow.  Speaking of cats, the boys left the door open, so I need to chase a crumb-sniffing mama cat outside.
Enjoy the day!

Love.

I came across this while perusing photos on our computer.  It's from last August, so it's been a while since it was taken.  It was cookie delivery day.  (Once a month I make treats for Paul's shift.  This time we took them up instead of Paul taking them with him.)  

And note Nathan's "uniform" - he wanted to dress like Daddy to go see him at work.

I love them!