Blessed Be Your Name

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

We're singing this song for church Sunday, because I needed to sing it. My head is there, but I need to make sure my heart is, too. During praise team practice, I had a little bit of a hard time, but I was singing with my heart, not just my lips. And I'm glad I can say that.

Thanks, everyone, for your prayers. I am doing so much better than I thought I would be. We both are. I still am sad, but it doesn't bring tears to my eyes to think about it. The hardest thing lately has been when Paul read my blog before I posted it, he changed what I had written beneath the ultrasound picture, Precious Baby, to Angel Rhodes. He told me he thought that was an appropriate name for a girl or a boy.

I struggled with whether to even mention it had happened. But then I thought, this is such a major thing in our life, I don't just want to pretend it didn't happen. But I also don't want to burden others and be like, "Hey, you need to be feeling sorry for me."

But I do think that miscarriage needs to quit being such a "taboo" subject. If we are truly pro-life, then that baby is a baby, and a woman should be allowed to grieve her baby the same, whether it's 9 months old, or 9 weeks old. You can't say that because her baby was the size of a pea, it didn't matter to her as much. Every life is precious.

I promise another (happier!) post soon - but today is a busy day. It's my best friend's birthday (Happy birthday, Brooke!), and I am going to go help my sister, who had to have her appendix removed Monday. Plus this, and that, and the other.....

But who cares, because the sun is shining, and it's going to be 70 degrees today! It will be a glorious day!

I Can't Be Clever.

For almost three weeks, I was trying to come up with a clever way to make my announcement. Now I get to make the announcement, and it’s not what I wanted to be telling everyone:
I was pregnant.
…..was.
On January 20th, Paul and I found out I was expecting. It was totally unplanned, and a complete surprise - I wasn’t even sure I could get pregnant without using fertility drugs (like we had to with both boys). I had been having symptoms - tired, thirsty, and weird food cravings, but I just chalked it up to the horrible cold I had. But when I started feeling sick to my stomach every day, and told Paul that one of our favorite foods sounded gross, he asked, “Are you pregnant?” The thought had crossed my mind, but every time I was sure I’ve had symptoms, the pregnancy test was negative, so I refused to think so. Then the next morning, my varicose veins were horrible, and I said, “Okay.” We went and bought a test before our big date, and it immediately showed positive! (Afterwards, we counted up a dozen symptoms I’d been having, and hadn’t even paid attention to…. I guess I didn’t think it was possible.)
We decided to wait a while to tell people. We hadn’t been expecting it, so we knew no one else would be suspecting anything. Two weeks later, we told his parents, and two days after that, I told my family while we were all together. I wanted to wait to tell friends until we had a sonogram and knew a due date, because according to my weird cycles (or lack thereof), I could have been due anywhere from the middle of August to the end of September.
The day after I told my family, I started spotting (on a Sunday). I knew this was common for some women, even though it wasn’t for me in my two previous pregnancies, so I tried not to worry too much. I called the doctor on Monday, but she wasn’t in, so I decided to wait until my appointment Tuesday morning. I knew if something bad was happening, there wasn’t anything that could be done, anyways, so I wasn‘t going to go to the hospital.
As I expected, Tuesday morning, my doctor sent me to have a sonogram. But instead of getting to see our little baby wiggling around, we saw that there was no heartbeat.
Our baby was 8 weeks old.
I miscarried that night, while Paul and I were on what was supposed to be a romantic getaway.

Even though this baby was unplanned, it in no way was unwanted. We were both so excited to be adding to our family, and were so disappointed to find out it wasn’t going to be so. It’s probably the hardest thing our marriage has been through, and I am glad to say, we’ve come out stronger.
Every day is getting better. The first day was the hardest, when the grief was so fresh, and my body was so weak. But we’ve moved on, and I’ve thanked God for everything - letting us be able to get pregnant on our own, having those few short weeks of joy and excitement, and even the way the miscarriage happened. I praise Him that His ways are higher than my ways.

Angel Rhodes, Resting with Jesus.
February 8, 2011 - 8 weeks

Forget Productiveness.

It's 15 degrees outside.
With a -5 (at least) windchill.
We've got 4 inches of snow on the ground,
With another 4-8 inches predicted.
I have a hearty, home-cooked meal in the crock pot.
I fed the kids a decent lunch (chicken burritos).
But it looks like the blizzard is IN the house.
I really should pick some stuff up.
But.....
Forget productiveness.
I'm going to go take a hot shower
(Before all our pipes freeze)
And go stay warm under the covers with my sleeping husband
(Who I hope will call in to work tonight).

(Un)Health(y) Department

I finally took Jacob in to get his next round of the immunizations we're doing.... Two months late. (I tried earlier.) It was a gorgeous day (another one - we actually had about 3 last week!), and there was no one in there, and we pretty much got right in and out, so I didn't mind the trip, even though Jacob screamed, and I got the usual lecture over our choice of how we do immunizations.
However, while we were there, we let the boys play with the toys. Jacob played on this thing that's like a bunch of big blocks hooked together into a big square with a slide, and Nathan played with a big wire/bead maze.
Apparently both toys were infected, with different diseases. Saturday night, Nathan came down with a stomach bug (he puked all over his own face while in bed). Since he was running a fever, Paul stayed home from church with both boys, even though Jacob wasn't sick.
By the time I came home from church, Jacob was running a fever. He wasn't throwing up, but was acting "off". By evening, his breathing was rasping in and out and he was coughing. The fever wouldn't really go away, even though we kept him dosed with tylenol/ibuprofin.
I guess I don't think of the health department as a place where the toys are dangerous.... I try not to let them play with things at the doctors office, but I guess I was thinking that when kids go to the health department, they have to be healthy to get their shots. But I guess there are other services they offer, and moms bring their kids with them, sick or not.
Thankfully, Nathan's seemed to be a 24-hour bug. He woke up chipper and hungry this morning. But Jacob was still running a fever, and we made the decision to go ahead and take him to the doctor. Generally, I would wait another day or two, but we are supposed to be getting a major winter storm starting today with freezing rain, and ending tomorrow with 40-mph winds and up to a foot of snow. I didn't want to not take him in, and then have him need to see a doctor when we couldn't get out. (Our road drifts shut if there's any substantial amount of snow and wind.)
His fever had subsided by the time we got there, but he was obviously not feeling well - content to sit and let me snuggle him, and not pull stuff off of every shelf and drawer his norm). Thankfully, his ears were clear, but she said he had major drainage in the back of his throat. She went ahead and prescribed an antibiotic to help him get on top of it.
And didn't I just say a few posts ago: this happens every time??? I had a couple of very productive days last week where I was pretty much on top of the house. You should see it now. We were almost completely out of plates (all sizes - big ones, saucers, and salad-sized), and running dangerously low on silverware. Even though the dishwasher was unloaded, we'd just been stacking them on any available surface.
I did load and run the dishwasher, but sad to say, that's about as productive as I'm going to get today. Being up almost all night with Nathan Saturday, then the same routine last night with Jacob, I'm pretty much shot. If I nap today, I can be more productive tomorrow......right?

Jenius Award

And the Jenius Award goes to.....
ME!
Yesterday, I burned 6 of my fingers in two cooking mis-haps. I should get some type of award.
The first, I burned one finger taking muffins out of the oven. This was an honest mistake... I was using a crocheted hot pad, and even though I had it folded over to avoid it, I ended up sticking my finger through the weave and burning one finger on my right hand. It blistered, but I've had worse.
The second, I was taking a tray of home-made tortilla chips out of the oven. I made a smarter choice in hot pads this time, picked up the tray out of the 450-degree oven with my right hand, then grabbed it with my bare left hand to set it on top of the stove. I have no idea what I was thinking - apparently I wasn't. I burned all 5 fingers on my left hand, with my thumb, index finger and pinkie all having substantial blisters.
I'm a jenius.
And note to self: don't use warm/hot water to wash your hands, even hours after you've gotten a burn. PAIN.

A Date! A REAL Date!

Paul and I went on a date Thursday afternoon, and it wasn't 'til we were out that I realized how long it's been since we had what I would call a "real" date. Yes, we've went out recently, but the dates have been kind of, "Go, go, go! Hurry! Gotta get back!" Because of something - kids' bedtimes, Paul's bedtime (if going to days), or other plans (band practice, etc).
Paul's dad came and picked the boys up just before lunchtime. The plan was to go see a movie at 2:50, and then go out to Outback Steakhouse (we had gift certificates for both). Since the boys were gone so early, that gave us two hours with no agenda - what to do, what to do? We ended up going on up to the city and wandering around three stores (Best Buy, Pier 1, and Borders). It's been forever since we've been able to wander like that, maybe even since before we had kids. I like to browse, but I find it generally leads to wanting to buy something, so I generally avoid it. (Not to mention, going with kids really take away the ability to browse.) But it was nice.
We went to see True Grit at AMC, and did their Fork & Screen experience. We really liked it. The food that we got (appetizers) was pretty good - nothing spectacular, but still not bad, and fairly decently priced - about the same prices as Applebees food. (Now, I did think that $3.79 for an iced tea was a bit outrageous.) I loved the movie! I am somewhat familiar with the original John Wayne one, but not so much that I was constantly comparing the two. I thought all of the cast nailed their characters. JC gave me the gift certificate last Christmas (2009) so we could try out Fork & Screen, and whereas I feel bad that it took us over a year to use it, I have to say, it was worth the wait.
Outback was fantastic, as usual. Paul's work handed out gift cards as a surprise for supervisors last week. I've had a major craving for steak. (I blame Pastor, for using that visual of the steak on Sunday - although this seems to happen every winter... I think I am actually craving warm-weather barbeques.)
Even though the iced tea kept me up 'til an ungodly hour, I had a blast, and I told Paul we need to do this much more often - like once a month, at least. Although, the biggest deterrent is money (or lack thereof), though thankfully that was taken care of this time.
But I think it's worth putting into the budget.

CSI Mentality

I read somewhere that local police departments and detectives get frustrated because people see these high-tech labs on TV shows like CSI that can get things like DNA results pretty much instantly, when in reality, most departments have to send them off to a regional lab where there is a back-up of specimens. (Or something like that.)
But sometimes it would be nice if they even pretended they were capable of investigating clues.
When I went out to get the mail today, I noticed an exploded Gatorade bottle sitting in our yard. I just figured someone had thrown it in the road, and then another vehicle had hit it.
Then I got out to our mailbox, and I noticed bits of aluminum foil inside it with liquid residue all over the inside and around the seams on the outside. I don't know how many of you are familiar with teenage pranks, but I recognized it instantly as leftovers from a pop-bottle bomb that uses a reaction of aluminum foil and Draino to cause a pop bottle to explode. (I never vandalized anything with this, but it was popular with friends at Independence Day celebrations.)
Our mailbox wasn't damaged, other than the fact that the door won't latch shut, which just requires pliers to fix (I'm pretty sure, at least), and gross liquid all over. Had it just been this, I would have said, "Stupid punk teenagers," and went on with my day. But we had a Netflix DVD in there when they put this contraption in there. I had noticed the door hanging open yesterday (no mail due to the holiday), but didn't see the red envelope inside. (I didn't actually go check, as it is hard to escape the house without Munchkins following, and I didn't know what had happened until I went out to get today's mail.) I figured that the punks either stole the DVD (federal offense), or at the very least damaged it (which I'm pretty sure is an offense as well), so I called the Sherriff.
The Sherriff's officer came out, asked me a few questions, and then left, without so much as looking at the mailbox any more than a drive-by in his vehicle. He did call me later and said he intercepted our mail lady, and she said that our DVD was inside the mailbox and she got it. (How she remembered our mailbox out of 300 or so on her route, I don't know; we'll see if Netflix recieves it.)
What bugs me, I guess, is that the officer didn't even look for clues. He didn't go out to the mailbox or even look at the bottle laying in the yard. I know that teenage punks probably wouldn't be "on the books," but why not take the bottle in and finger print it anyways? Maybe they would happen to catch the kids on something else - other vandalism or underage drinking. And say they have prints from 20 mailbox bombs that they can pin to the kid. Maybe a bit of community service would put him on the straight and narrow?
I don't know; it just kind of bugged me.