Encounter: My Label Is Not My Identity

A month later, I'm finally getting around to writing this post.

The Encounter ministry has changed our lives.  It has changed Paul so much - and since he is the leader of our house, we all have changed.  Specifically, our spiritual lives have encountered the most change, which in turn has changed how we live the rest of our lives.  After Paul attended his third Encounter, he strongly encouraged me to go to the Women's Encounter.
I was excited to go - maybe as much because it would be the first time EVER that I've been away from the kids by myself.  (Admittedly, maybe a little guilty and nervous about this as well.)  And, lets face it - after a year of nursing.... I was ready to not have a baby hanging off of me.  I probably knew a little too much of the behind the scenes stuff, what was going to happen, from how Paul has been involved, and me helping him, but I still enjoyed my time very much.  I came back feeling refreshed, confident, and renewed.
The thing that hit me the most powerfully, and I can't explain why, is this:  My labels are not my identity.  My labels are good things!  Wife, Mother, Worship Leader....  Nothing I'm ashamed of.  Maybe that's why it was hard for me?  My good things aren't what matters; I'm not earning God's love by being good.  He loves me because I'm His, He made me, He died for me.
I have what I feel is a healthy sense of self-confidence.  I'm not always striving, always seeking.  I have a peace about who I am and where I am in life, and what I have.  So to be hit powerfully by this message of self worth was surprising to me.
But I got to thinking....  What if my labels weren't good things?  What if my labels were Liar, Adulterer, Thief, Drug Addict?  You know what?  God still would think the same of me.
Maybe some would have a problem with this message - "What?!  I've worked all my life to be good, and you're telling me that it doesn't matter?  God loves me, with all my Spiritual Achievements, as much as he loves her?  Do you KNOW what she's done???"
But that isn't the feeling I get.  It makes me feel so good to know that His love is like that.  Because it means if I fail, and I don't measure up, He's still going to love me.
I hope these ramblings make sense.  I'll close with the lyrics of a song....

"Remind Me Who I Am"

by Jason Gray

When I lose my way,
And I forget my name,
Remind me who I am.
In the mirror all I see,
Is who I don't wanna be,
Remind me who I am.
In the loneliest places,
When I can't remember what grace is.

Tell me once again who I am to You,
Who I am to You.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You,
That I belong to You.
To You.

When my heart is like a stone,
And I'm running far from home,
Remind me who I am.
When I can't receive Your love,
Afraid I'll never be enough,
Remind me who I am.
If I'm Your beloved,
Can You help me believe it.

Tell me once again who I am to You,
Who I am to You, whoa.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You.
That I belong to You.
To You.

I'm the one you love,
I'm the one you love,
That will be enough,
I'm the one you love.

Tell me once again who I am to You.
Who I am to You.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You,
That I belong to You, oh.

Tell me once again who I am to You.
Who I am to You.
Tell me lest I forget who I am to You,
That I belong to You.
To You.

So that's what I got from my Encounter.  There is another Women's Encounter coming up the end of July, and I'd like to see some of the ladies that I know personally go.  I'm hoping to be there myself.  The next one for men is in September.

www.EncounterTheCross.com 

And Now for a Brief Word from Our Sponsors......

Oh my gosh, I can't believe it's been 3 weeks since I've posted.  Really, since I've even thought about my blog, even.
We've got sunshine, kittens (oh my gosh, please make them go away!), and flowers.  Who has time for internet??
It's been awesome around here.  Despite snow on the 2nd of May (yes, snow), and a brief stint of too-hot weather in the low 90s, we've had some perfect springtime weather.  The kids have been outside constantly, and we're in full on shorts and barefoot season.  Thankfully it's dried out a little bit, so we're not doing multiple wardrobe changes a day anymore.
Zadie has figured out how to toddle her way out to the play set.  She can climb the ladder to the slide platform on her own.  I was cleaning the kitchen, and I noticed her on the ladder (five steps, 4-foot-tall or so) and hustled out there, trying to not frighten or distract her from holding on. "Nathan!  Get behind Zadie so she doesn't fall down!"
"Oh, she's gone up the ladder and down the slide all by herself!"
I still try to pay attention, but it's been 2 weeks, and she has yet to fall down.  She's happy and entertained, and I'm getting the kitchen cleaned.
We found 5 kittens a few weeks ago.  We knew they were somewhere, because our basketball-shaped mama kitty became thin as a rail overnight.  A week or two later we found three more from another litter.  Then Sunday we found two more - no clue who these belong to, because now all the litters have congregated under the deck, and the mothers nurse them interchangeably.  PLEASE MAKE IT STOP RAINING KITTENS.  Ugh.  We had like 8 cats to begin with, from last year's population explosion.  This is beyond way too many.
We're almost done with school.  We've kind of stalled out.  It's tough to make them do school when it's so beautiful out....  I am a firm believer that kids - boys, especially - learn by doing.  So I want them to be able to play and explore.  But we do have an amount of work that needs to be done at the table as well.  He's done with his math, and all the reading/phonics I think he needs for the year.  We just can't quite finish up his science book.  We've got about 5 lessons left, and my goal is to have it finished by the end of May.  Part of the procrastination about finishing is the fact we won't really be "finished."  I'm going to make him do something all summer, probably switch on and off - a day of reading, a day of math.  The reading I know we'd take a major step back if we let him take a break.
The first of the month was unusually cool and wet, so my garden stalled.  However, I just don't think my beans are going to come up.  So confused about them.  I used these seeds last spring (they're old), and they didn't come up.  I used them again in the fall, and they came up beautifully.  Thankfully, those seeds are all gone, so no more mystery adventure plantings.  We still need to get tomatoes planted (I keep forgetting to go buy the plants!), but otherwise, we're mostly planted.  (Besides obviously needing to replant the beans.)
Since we had cool weather, our flowers are delayed coming out, but the blooms are lasting a lot longer, and I'm loving it!  I'm slowly getting my beds weeded, what hasn't been trampled by kids and kittens.
Anyhow.  Speaking of cats, the boys left the door open, so I need to chase a crumb-sniffing mama cat outside.
Enjoy the day!

Love.

I came across this while perusing photos on our computer.  It's from last August, so it's been a while since it was taken.  It was cookie delivery day.  (Once a month I make treats for Paul's shift.  This time we took them up instead of Paul taking them with him.)  

And note Nathan's "uniform" - he wanted to dress like Daddy to go see him at work.

I love them! 

Overheard:

It's longer than a giraffe's neck!

Yeah, he was talking about his poop.  With two boys, we talk about poop a lot around here.  They have designated themselves the official inspection committee.  Such is life, and we'll take it, because we love them!  :)

Spiritual Sweatpants

So, when we got our dog - 7 years ago - he would chew on my clothes.  Not Paul's, just mine.  He got ahold of a pair of my pajama pants and put a couple small holes in the thigh.  Even though they were already like 6 years old, I kept them since the holes were relatively small, and I never wore them out of the house.
But the last couple years, they've gotten really ugly.  You know how they say behind every sexually frustrated man is a woman in sweatpants?  Yeah, these were those kind of pants.
I'm so cheap, though, and couldn't justify spending twenty bucks for a pair of pajama pants!  So I kept holding on to them.  After all, sometimes you just need some baggy, comfy clothes to have a lazy day in.
But this spring, I finally decided it was time to let go.  They were 13 years old.  I put them on the rag pile.
The next day I was at WalMart picking up something totally unrelated, and I passed the clearance rack.  I usually don't peruse them, because I don't need more clothes.  But I saw the $3 sign, and I had to look.  There were only a handful of things in my size, but what do you think one of those things was?  Yes!  Pajama pants!  And only $3!!!
I came home and gave Paul a complete spiritual application for this.
Sometimes we hold on to things in our lives because we don't want to let them go.  They are things that aren't necessarily bad, but they may not be God's plan for us.  He has something better planned for us, but we have to get rid of what we want in order to make room for what He has in store for us.  And when we do let go, he surprises us with blessings (hello, $3!!!).
Okay, maybe it's a stretch to apply spiritual truths to sale-priced sweatpants, but the truth remains.
And these pants are awesome!!!
:)

BLT: Bacon, Lettuce, and Thumb

BLTs and salad for supper.  While chopping the salad, I nearly chopped off the end of my thumb.  It was deep, and probably should have had stitches.  It took me 15 minutes to get it to stop bleeding.
So what's the natural human response?
Keep cooking the bacon!
Because.....
Bacon makes everything better.
:)

First Grade!

Today we start first grade!
Okay, not really.
But kind of.
Last Monday, we finished up Nathan's Kindergarten Math.  I let him have a week off of math, a spring break of sorts (which we didn't do - long breaks are counterproductive).  Today we start First Grade Math! We're using the Saxon curriculum, and the Kindergarten was actually a step back from what he'd learned with his Preschool curriculum (Answers in Genesis, I believe put out by Alpha Omega Publishing).  The  Math K was still stuff he needed to learn (calendar, patterns, money, shapes, etc), but as I look at Math 1, it looks like he could have started with this no problem.  No regrets, though.  He's also doing 1st grade Science (because that's what we had on hand), and his reader is used through 2nd grade.  So I guess we could say he's done with Kindergarten and is now in first grade!  I guess.....?
Our syllabus included:
Bible
Math
Phonics/Reading
Health/Science
Map Study/Pledge of Allegiance Study
Violin

As I mentioned in my homeschool blog, we get done with our schoolwork in about 2 hours.  Sometimes I think maybe we're not doing enough, but as I look at that list - we actually do a lot!  I know it will take longer as subjects get harder, so we'll adjust our schedule as necessary.