We are working on "obeying" with Nathan. This has resulted in many spankings. That boy is so hard-headed!
When I was discussing this with my best friend Brooke, I was telling her how after I have to discipline Nathan, I explain it by saying, "Nathan, you need to listen to Mommy when she tells you to do something." She pointed out that there is a difference between listening and obeying. We can hear what someone tells us to do, and still not do it. (Much as we do with God!)
When the boys I babysit were being picked up today, their mom was having a hard time getting them into their shoes and coats and out the door. I told Dallas, "You need to obey your mommy." (Because that's what I say to Nathan.) That led to a short conversation about the word "obey". She mentioned she didn't have it in her marriage vows.
(Thus the focus of this blog.)
I know a lot of women who leave the "obey" part out of their vows. I don't know why we are so afraid of that word. To me, it seems more powerful that I know I can defy him, but I choose to not do that. I am in control of myself more if I can let someone else be in control.
I don't know if that makes sense in anyone's mind but my own. I'm not saying wives need to obey their husbands if he is asking them to do something illegal or morally degrading. The vow to obey, in my mind, means that when you come to a stand-off in a decision, you let him have the final say - even if that means failure. (And part of obeying/submission is not throwing it back into his face with an "I told you so!") I believe in a healthy marriage, the husband won't call all the shots with no thoughts as to what his wife wants. They will discuss things, and come to a mutual agreement.
There have been times that Paul thought we should do things a certain way, and after explaining my point of view to him, he decided "my way" was better. But in times that no agreement can be reached, I choose to let Paul have the final say.
I've not had to "obey" my husband when it comes to a stand-off over a major issue that will affect our future, such as a move or a job change. There have been times that I really want to do something/go somewhere and he says he'd rather not - so we stay home. (And, admittedly, I have sulked a few times over these things.)
I'm not even sure if "obey" was in our wedding vows. But it's something I will gladly do - for better or for worse!
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
Gripe-Fest
I refused to do it on Facebook, but I'll do it here. Allow me to whine:
- I did not sleep at all last night. Okay, so I slept, but it was more like I was merely dozing all night - no deep sleep. And of course the boys were up before the sun. I'm convinced it's due to the hot chocolate - miniscule amount of caffeine that I had 8 HOURS before I went to bed!
- Paul has to work all weekend. We thought his schedule would be so that he could make it to at least PART of Bethlehem every night, but it works out he's not going to be able to make it at all. Boo.
- It's cold. 13 degrees out.
- I did my first session of Pilates (by video) last night. Actually, I only did half of one. Kicked my butt.
On the other hand, I have lots of things I should be praising about:
- Jacob is sleeping better, for longer stretches. Even though I've learned to survive on 5-6 hours of less-than-stellar sleep, I'm not sure how much longer I could keep it up.
- Paul may have a four-day weekend next week.
- The sun is shining.
- We have a warm(ish) house. The wood stove is blazing.
- We have food to eat.
- The boys are both healthy.
- We've been able to put a considerable chunk of money into savings the last two months.
- Things are looking up at Paul's work. They've got some new contracts that will mean more work.
- Prayers are being answered for a family member who is having marital problems. Things aren't resolved, but we feel it's one step closer.
- We have a heavenly Father who loves us beyond comprehension. He humbled Himself, and came to earth to live as a man, going through all the trials and temptations of a normal person, from birth to adulthood. He was cruelly crucified, though innocent of any sin. His undeserved death takes my place, so I don't have to pay for the wrong I've done. He made it possible for me to live in heaven forever with Him. And I'm forever grateful.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Six Weeks
Yesterday was Jacob's six week checkup. He has seriously chunked out! He's gained 3 pounds since he was born! (More if you count the weight he lost before my milk came in... That makes it almost 4 pounds!) I had him weighed three times in 24 hours.... At the Childrens Mercy urologist, he was 11, 2... According to the health department visit (more on that later) he was 11, 8... And at the doctor he was 11, 4. Dr. Sinclair said he "looks perfect!"
The visit with the urologist went well. He explained that sometimes when all of the mother's hormones finally get out of the baby's system (around 2 months), boys will have a testosterone surge that will "push" the testicle down. He said even though that's not common, it does happen. We have another check up at the end of January, and then he will determine if surgery is needed. Dr. Demarcos said the sooner they get it corrected, the easier it is for Jacob to recover.
We had an annoying visit from the county health department yesterday morning. Not that the lady that came out is annoying, she's actually a sweet grandmotherly type.... just the fact that they come irritates me. When they call to set up an appointment, they ask if they can come because they have a gift for me, and tell me they can bring their scale so we can find out how much the baby is gaining between check-ups. I don't know how to say no - what would it look like if I refused? But what I feel the only reason they want to come is so they can get into your house and see what kind of conditions the baby is living in. I have no doubt I would be reported if something didn't measure up. I don't even know how they found out I have a baby, because the hospital doesn't report it to them anymore.
I also had my six week follow-up. I was less than thrilled with it. For starters, I've only lost half of the baby weight. This probably wouldn't bother me if I hadn't of lost all the baby weight by six weeks (without even trying) after I had Nathan. And it doesn't really upset me too much - I look at the scale as "just a number" (which is why we don't own a scale). I feel like I look pretty good (minus the jello-belly). And when Jacob starts sleeping more predictably, I'll be able to better exercise. The hernia I got above my belly button still hasn't fixed itself completely - it still pooches. Dr. Sinclair said to give it a little more time for my abs to pull back together. She recommended trying Pilates, rather than just sit-ups, since Pilates focuses on strengthening your entire core.
I'm finally getting the house back in order. We had a crazy weekend about 3 weeks ago where we were running all day every day, and the house fell apart. We came home and just dumped everything in the dining room every day. We'd eat, but I wouldn't have time to clean the kitchen afterwards. I'd get the kitchen or dining room partially cleaned (the dishwasher loaded/unloaded, the dining room table halfway cleaned off), then I'd get distracted/busy with the boys, and not get back to it until it was a disaster again. I washed dishes (pots and pans) last night for the first time in almost two weeks. Like I said, totally gross.
I'm convinced Jacob's 3-day fussing spree was due to a growth spurt. He wanted to nurse all the time - and that did it's job. My milk supply is up, and he's sleeping more (a painful combination if he doesn't nurse well before falling asleep for four hours!). But he's nursing for longer periods now, and going longer between feedings. I'm ready for that - I was beginning to feel like a milk cow!
We're pretty sure Nathan's had a recent growth spurt, as well. He's been sleeping longer, and eating better (somewhat). But the main thing we noticed is that all of his pants are now high-water, even a pair I just bought at the end of summer. I'm not looking forward to shopping for him again - it's so hard to find non-trendy kids clothes (we are definitely not a trendy family).
Well, I've lolly-gagged (what does that mean anyways?) long enough. I still haven't gotten dressed for the day, and it's time to start on lunch.
The visit with the urologist went well. He explained that sometimes when all of the mother's hormones finally get out of the baby's system (around 2 months), boys will have a testosterone surge that will "push" the testicle down. He said even though that's not common, it does happen. We have another check up at the end of January, and then he will determine if surgery is needed. Dr. Demarcos said the sooner they get it corrected, the easier it is for Jacob to recover.
We had an annoying visit from the county health department yesterday morning. Not that the lady that came out is annoying, she's actually a sweet grandmotherly type.... just the fact that they come irritates me. When they call to set up an appointment, they ask if they can come because they have a gift for me, and tell me they can bring their scale so we can find out how much the baby is gaining between check-ups. I don't know how to say no - what would it look like if I refused? But what I feel the only reason they want to come is so they can get into your house and see what kind of conditions the baby is living in. I have no doubt I would be reported if something didn't measure up. I don't even know how they found out I have a baby, because the hospital doesn't report it to them anymore.
I also had my six week follow-up. I was less than thrilled with it. For starters, I've only lost half of the baby weight. This probably wouldn't bother me if I hadn't of lost all the baby weight by six weeks (without even trying) after I had Nathan. And it doesn't really upset me too much - I look at the scale as "just a number" (which is why we don't own a scale). I feel like I look pretty good (minus the jello-belly). And when Jacob starts sleeping more predictably, I'll be able to better exercise. The hernia I got above my belly button still hasn't fixed itself completely - it still pooches. Dr. Sinclair said to give it a little more time for my abs to pull back together. She recommended trying Pilates, rather than just sit-ups, since Pilates focuses on strengthening your entire core.
I'm finally getting the house back in order. We had a crazy weekend about 3 weeks ago where we were running all day every day, and the house fell apart. We came home and just dumped everything in the dining room every day. We'd eat, but I wouldn't have time to clean the kitchen afterwards. I'd get the kitchen or dining room partially cleaned (the dishwasher loaded/unloaded, the dining room table halfway cleaned off), then I'd get distracted/busy with the boys, and not get back to it until it was a disaster again. I washed dishes (pots and pans) last night for the first time in almost two weeks. Like I said, totally gross.
I'm convinced Jacob's 3-day fussing spree was due to a growth spurt. He wanted to nurse all the time - and that did it's job. My milk supply is up, and he's sleeping more (a painful combination if he doesn't nurse well before falling asleep for four hours!). But he's nursing for longer periods now, and going longer between feedings. I'm ready for that - I was beginning to feel like a milk cow!
We're pretty sure Nathan's had a recent growth spurt, as well. He's been sleeping longer, and eating better (somewhat). But the main thing we noticed is that all of his pants are now high-water, even a pair I just bought at the end of summer. I'm not looking forward to shopping for him again - it's so hard to find non-trendy kids clothes (we are definitely not a trendy family).
Well, I've lolly-gagged (what does that mean anyways?) long enough. I still haven't gotten dressed for the day, and it's time to start on lunch.
Monday, November 30, 2009
I Just Ate a Whole Tomato....
.....in the form of bruschetta. Amazingness.
And in case the title wasn't obvious, this is the beginning of a rambling, random post.
I started my Christmas shopping today, by buying a present for... myself. I received some money as a gift, with the stipulation that I use it to buy something FOR MYSELF, so I bought a under-cabinet radio for the kitchen. We have a gigantic mid-90s CD stereo in there now, up on top of the fridge. I'm going to send that out to the shop (Merry Christmas, Paul!). Unfortunately, this means I'm going to have to clean that greasy dirt off the top of the fridge that I've been successfully ignoring for the last.... I don't want to admit how long.
By the way, I do have a Christmas present bought for Paul already. I've had it for weeks. (Surprised I could keep my mouth shut, dear?) I think I've got the rest of his gift figured out. We're still discussing Nathan's.... But keeping it simple/practical - we've got too many toys in this house as is. I'm thinking jeans, work gloves, and maybe some toy tools to "help" Paul (that can be kept outside?). Jacob is just getting a "Baby's First Christmas" ornament. (And that's all we got Nathan for his first Christmas, too, so don't think we're chincing.)
Jacob has been ten types of fussy today. He has had some gross spit-up (he normally doesn't spit up much), but he hasn't been kicking like he seems to do when he's got gas. He wants to nurse ALL THE TIME. He's got to be going through a growth spurt.
Tomorrow I'm taking Jacob to a urologist. I haven't wanted to mention this, but since we're all adults, I will. (I will not be mentioning this happening after he turns about two however - I don't want him getting a nickname like a guy my dad went to high school with.) Jacob has an undescended testicle. Not a big deal, and fairly common. The appointment is to make sure that there IS a second one. Assuming there is, they give it a year to come down on it's own, and if it doesn't he'll have to have surgery to bring it down. An undescended testicle can become cancerous is the reason for the surgery.
We spent Thanksgiving in Medicine Lodge with Paul's family - mainly we wanted to be sure to get some time with his grandpa. He was diagnosed with skin cancer this fall, and there's evidence it's spreading. He also has a heart condition, so.... When a grandparent is over 85, every chance you get to see them is precious.
It was a good time. Jacob doesn't travel well, and didn't sleep well at all. (Up every hour one night, every 20 minutes the next.) But Paul's parents came down Friday and Saturday and they watched the boys for us so we could take a nap. However, Jacob has slept 5 hour stretches both nights since we've been home. Unfortunately that 5 hour stretch is followed by an up-every-hour marathon until sunrise.
My boss brought me Sonic Dr. Pepper and a container of puppy chow this morning. She loves me. (Or hates me....) I practiced extreme self control, let me tell you, by dumping half of the DP down the drain. Caffeine effects Jacob (maybe that's his problem today.....), so I didn't want to OD - as much as I needed to.
Project Less TV went well....ish today. He watched one video this morning (Thomas), one this afternoon (Bob), and is watching a Baby Einstein right now. I did turn on PBS for about a half hour (maybe an hour?) this morning when I was babysitting and the three boys were at each others' throats. So not great, but better. (Rather than watching 3 hours in the morning and afternoon both. and then a video or two in the evening before bed.)
I read most of Cheaper by the Dozen while in ML.... It is hillarious! My mom read it to us during school one year, but I hadn't read it since then. I don't know why I found it so amusing - maybe because I can see myself being that type of parent. You all should definitely go borrow it from the library - it's a light read and will have you smiling.
This weekend is our church's Bethlehem production. Paul and I were supposed to be Joseph and Mary Saturday and Sunday nights, but he just found out he has to work both nights. (Which means he is working straight through from tonight to at least next Friday without a day off. Lovely.) He can't get either night off because there are other supervisors already scheduled for vacation (pansies can't handle working all these weekends). Sunday he doesn't have to go in until later, so I'm going to talk to the other couple who was thankfully able to fill in, and see if they're willing to switch or do tag-team.
Paul and I were talking.... His schedule since July has been totally up in the air. They start the week thinking they'll be working a certain number of days/hours, then it changes. He's had days off, but they've been sporadic and he didn't know when they were coming (with the exception of Jacobs birth, and Thanksgiving vacation - but even then they were talking about having them come in Saturday). I'm not complaining about the overtime pay, but it would be nice to know when he's going to be home on a weekend. He hasn't played with us for praise and worship since August.
I downloaded some sheet music for some new Christmas songs yesterday. I was playing one on the piano today and singing, trying to figure out if it was church-singable. ("All Creation Sing/Joy to the World" by Fee) I finished it up, and Nathan, who had been playing with his farm set, started clapping and yelled "YAY!" I guess that is his vote of approval, at least.
Our neighbor was finally able to harvest the field across from our house today (it has been too wet). Of course, Nathan realizing there was a combine in such close proximity to our house necessitated a wagon ride. I hauled Nathan a half of a mile in the wagon while carrying Jacob (aka Chunkadelic) in the sling. I definitely felt like I'd worked for that "stroll". It was so nice to be able to get outside and enjoy the weather on the last day of November.... About the last nice day for a while, it sounds. But the haul was totally worth it, just to see Nathan watching with big eyes and proclaiming in a "deep" toddler voice, "BIG COMBINE." (So hillarious the way he says it!)
Well, my goal today was to get one room clean. Failed. Well, not actually. I said my goal was one room, and meant to clean the kitchen. As far as I got there was unloading the dishwasher and putting about 5 dirty dishes back in it. But I did clean the living room. This was necessitated by my pldest son absolutely wrecking it this afternoon - it was picked up, maybe not spotless, but pretty clean, when the boys left at noon. But it was so bad by bedtime that I couldn't walk through it without stepping on something. So it got picked up and vaccuumed. (And I could be cleaning the kitchen right now, but for some reason would rather sit here and blog..... I'm also nursing Jacob [talent unbounded, let me tell ya], so that's my excuse.)
Holy cow - did I mention Jacob was fussy? I haven't been able to leave him for 5 minutes this evening! I think he's asleep, I leave him snuggled up in the Boppy or in his swing, and leave the room, only to have him screaming 2 minutes later. As soon as I pick him up he stops. Then I nurse him and he falls asleep and we start all over. He was asleep for maybe 20 minutes (I was hoping it was going to be for several hours, though), which allowed me to get the living room done, but not get Nathan in bed. I had to do bedtime story and prayers with little one attached to my boob. (As much as I hate to admit it, it's probably lingering effects of that Dr. Pepper this morning.)
Okay, this is getting way too long.
THE END.
And in case the title wasn't obvious, this is the beginning of a rambling, random post.
I started my Christmas shopping today, by buying a present for... myself. I received some money as a gift, with the stipulation that I use it to buy something FOR MYSELF, so I bought a under-cabinet radio for the kitchen. We have a gigantic mid-90s CD stereo in there now, up on top of the fridge. I'm going to send that out to the shop (Merry Christmas, Paul!). Unfortunately, this means I'm going to have to clean that greasy dirt off the top of the fridge that I've been successfully ignoring for the last.... I don't want to admit how long.
By the way, I do have a Christmas present bought for Paul already. I've had it for weeks. (Surprised I could keep my mouth shut, dear?) I think I've got the rest of his gift figured out. We're still discussing Nathan's.... But keeping it simple/practical - we've got too many toys in this house as is. I'm thinking jeans, work gloves, and maybe some toy tools to "help" Paul (that can be kept outside?). Jacob is just getting a "Baby's First Christmas" ornament. (And that's all we got Nathan for his first Christmas, too, so don't think we're chincing.)
Jacob has been ten types of fussy today. He has had some gross spit-up (he normally doesn't spit up much), but he hasn't been kicking like he seems to do when he's got gas. He wants to nurse ALL THE TIME. He's got to be going through a growth spurt.
Tomorrow I'm taking Jacob to a urologist. I haven't wanted to mention this, but since we're all adults, I will. (I will not be mentioning this happening after he turns about two however - I don't want him getting a nickname like a guy my dad went to high school with.) Jacob has an undescended testicle. Not a big deal, and fairly common. The appointment is to make sure that there IS a second one. Assuming there is, they give it a year to come down on it's own, and if it doesn't he'll have to have surgery to bring it down. An undescended testicle can become cancerous is the reason for the surgery.
We spent Thanksgiving in Medicine Lodge with Paul's family - mainly we wanted to be sure to get some time with his grandpa. He was diagnosed with skin cancer this fall, and there's evidence it's spreading. He also has a heart condition, so.... When a grandparent is over 85, every chance you get to see them is precious.
It was a good time. Jacob doesn't travel well, and didn't sleep well at all. (Up every hour one night, every 20 minutes the next.) But Paul's parents came down Friday and Saturday and they watched the boys for us so we could take a nap. However, Jacob has slept 5 hour stretches both nights since we've been home. Unfortunately that 5 hour stretch is followed by an up-every-hour marathon until sunrise.
My boss brought me Sonic Dr. Pepper and a container of puppy chow this morning. She loves me. (Or hates me....) I practiced extreme self control, let me tell you, by dumping half of the DP down the drain. Caffeine effects Jacob (maybe that's his problem today.....), so I didn't want to OD - as much as I needed to.
Project Less TV went well....ish today. He watched one video this morning (Thomas), one this afternoon (Bob), and is watching a Baby Einstein right now. I did turn on PBS for about a half hour (maybe an hour?) this morning when I was babysitting and the three boys were at each others' throats. So not great, but better. (Rather than watching 3 hours in the morning and afternoon both. and then a video or two in the evening before bed.)
I read most of Cheaper by the Dozen while in ML.... It is hillarious! My mom read it to us during school one year, but I hadn't read it since then. I don't know why I found it so amusing - maybe because I can see myself being that type of parent. You all should definitely go borrow it from the library - it's a light read and will have you smiling.
This weekend is our church's Bethlehem production. Paul and I were supposed to be Joseph and Mary Saturday and Sunday nights, but he just found out he has to work both nights. (Which means he is working straight through from tonight to at least next Friday without a day off. Lovely.) He can't get either night off because there are other supervisors already scheduled for vacation (pansies can't handle working all these weekends). Sunday he doesn't have to go in until later, so I'm going to talk to the other couple who was thankfully able to fill in, and see if they're willing to switch or do tag-team.
Paul and I were talking.... His schedule since July has been totally up in the air. They start the week thinking they'll be working a certain number of days/hours, then it changes. He's had days off, but they've been sporadic and he didn't know when they were coming (with the exception of Jacobs birth, and Thanksgiving vacation - but even then they were talking about having them come in Saturday). I'm not complaining about the overtime pay, but it would be nice to know when he's going to be home on a weekend. He hasn't played with us for praise and worship since August.
I downloaded some sheet music for some new Christmas songs yesterday. I was playing one on the piano today and singing, trying to figure out if it was church-singable. ("All Creation Sing/Joy to the World" by Fee) I finished it up, and Nathan, who had been playing with his farm set, started clapping and yelled "YAY!" I guess that is his vote of approval, at least.
Our neighbor was finally able to harvest the field across from our house today (it has been too wet). Of course, Nathan realizing there was a combine in such close proximity to our house necessitated a wagon ride. I hauled Nathan a half of a mile in the wagon while carrying Jacob (aka Chunkadelic) in the sling. I definitely felt like I'd worked for that "stroll". It was so nice to be able to get outside and enjoy the weather on the last day of November.... About the last nice day for a while, it sounds. But the haul was totally worth it, just to see Nathan watching with big eyes and proclaiming in a "deep" toddler voice, "BIG COMBINE." (So hillarious the way he says it!)
Well, my goal today was to get one room clean. Failed. Well, not actually. I said my goal was one room, and meant to clean the kitchen. As far as I got there was unloading the dishwasher and putting about 5 dirty dishes back in it. But I did clean the living room. This was necessitated by my pldest son absolutely wrecking it this afternoon - it was picked up, maybe not spotless, but pretty clean, when the boys left at noon. But it was so bad by bedtime that I couldn't walk through it without stepping on something. So it got picked up and vaccuumed. (And I could be cleaning the kitchen right now, but for some reason would rather sit here and blog..... I'm also nursing Jacob [talent unbounded, let me tell ya], so that's my excuse.)
Holy cow - did I mention Jacob was fussy? I haven't been able to leave him for 5 minutes this evening! I think he's asleep, I leave him snuggled up in the Boppy or in his swing, and leave the room, only to have him screaming 2 minutes later. As soon as I pick him up he stops. Then I nurse him and he falls asleep and we start all over. He was asleep for maybe 20 minutes (I was hoping it was going to be for several hours, though), which allowed me to get the living room done, but not get Nathan in bed. I had to do bedtime story and prayers with little one attached to my boob. (As much as I hate to admit it, it's probably lingering effects of that Dr. Pepper this morning.)
Okay, this is getting way too long.
THE END.
TV
My son watches entirely too much television. This is going to stop. The crackdown starts today.
.... As soon as this video is over.
.... As soon as this video is over.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Shouldn't Be Blogging
I just wanted to let all of you dedicated blog readers (ha ha) know that it's going to be well into next week before I can get a "real" blog done.
I'm supposed to be cleaning house and packing to leave for four days. As soon as Paul gets home, we're leaving for Medicine Lodge to see his grandpa, aunt and uncle, and cousins for Thanksgiving.
So I'd better get to it....
And PS - I would just like to let you know that I can now [kind of] fit into 3 pairs of my non-maternity jeans. :)
I'm supposed to be cleaning house and packing to leave for four days. As soon as Paul gets home, we're leaving for Medicine Lodge to see his grandpa, aunt and uncle, and cousins for Thanksgiving.
So I'd better get to it....
And PS - I would just like to let you know that I can now [kind of] fit into 3 pairs of my non-maternity jeans. :)
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Family Picture
We got this picture after church on Sunday. I thought it was actually a good one (at least of three of us)! Nathan's getting to that age where he knows what's going on, and he won't pose or smile.
PS - that's the infamous purple sweater from the shopping debacle. The longer I wore it, the more I loved it - although it does look rather scandalously low-cut in this picture!
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