I seriously need to be cleaning this house. It looks like every closet, shelf, drawer, and even the outdoors stepped into the middle of every room and vomited. What a crap pile.
But it's one of those days. I just had to get on here to let out a huge GAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hate days like this.
It started out with not sleeping well - which has been going on for weeks. I haven't had any caffeine since Saturday, so I know that's not the problem. But on top of not sleeping well, I was up for an hour with Zadie in the middle of the night. I woke up with a headache. Not a huge one, but just that kind of niggling, irritating, just-don't-feel-quite-right kind. And then the house smelled like we'd had a house fire (probably the cause of the headache) because there's a leak around the doors of the wood stove or something. Which has been that way since we first lit it a month ago and we still haven't done anything about it. Then when the sun came up, I noticed there was definitely smoke in the house, so I had to open all the windows to get it out, and whereas it got rid of the smoke, it didn't get rid of the smell. (And need I remind you it was like 20 degrees this morning?)
Then the boys are fussing at each other. They both are a little "off" as well; I think they're trying to get sick. But not sick enough that they want to just lay on the couch and watch TV. It's the whining, arguing, disrespecting "off," and continually nit-picking each other. I didn't spank either one (they were threatened with one more offense), but they both got sat on the couch, sent to their room, or sent outside. (I probably should have just spanked them.) And then Zadie was off as well. She wasn't happy doing anything. If she was nursing, she wanted to play. If she was playing, she wanted to snuggle. If she was snuggling, she wanted to eat. If I gave her food, she wanted to play. So I didn't have 10 minutes of peace this morning, without having someone hanging on me or whining at me.
Then the bank called. We closed on our refinance, but they forgot to collect the accrued interest for this month - nearly $400. There goes my Christmas ideas.
And I'm just frustrated with several little things. Things that have needed said or done for a long time, but I keep ignoring them, because it's easier to just keep the peace. But I've been stuffing it long enough, and soon the kettle is going to blow.
And I'm sure my stress is a lot caused by this filthy house, but I am continually spinning my wheels trying to get it clean. One person picking up after 5 is seriously out of balance, and I can never quite get it done, between school, lessons, church stuff, and being needed. It seems like a neat house is only a priority to me, even though everyone around here functions better when it's picked up. (Nathan can not focus for anything when there is stuff piled on the dining room table during school or a mess on the floor when he's practicing violin.) Even when someone tries to help me out, they don't do it right, or don't do it completely. I hate that I can't be grateful for a small amount of help, but it seems like it doesn't really help me at all when I have to finish or redo it.
And lovely. I should have used these 15 minutes of ranting to pick at least one room up, because now Zadie is awake, after only a half an hour.
May I say again: