Saturday, November 29, 2008

My Look Good/Feel Good Campaign

After about a month of feeling fat and ugly, I finally decided to do something about it.
First I tried shopping for new clothes. I haven't bought any new clothes for quite a while, like since June. But this attempt at boosting my self-image failed miserably.... First it made me feel completely cheap for not wanting to spend $40 on a top. Then it made me feel dreadfully out of fashion, because even if I did spend the money, I'm not sure I'd know how to wear these cute sweaters that are popular this winter. Then it made me feel like a freak of nature, because once I decided to buck up and just spend the money, I couldn't find anything in my size. Well, at least not anything I'd be caught dead in. (And that's saying a lot!) (PS - why do they even make mini-dresses in size 17?)
Next I decided to try exercising. I do like exercising. Once I get to doing it regularly, I feel much more energized. So I found a Leslie Sansone walking video that I really liked - it's a 4 mile walk/jog, a 50 minute work out. I did it for 8 days in a row, and was feeling pretty good about it, so when we were out at my parents' house on Wednesday, I smugly stepped on the scale.
WHAT THE.....?!?!?!
I had gained 7 lbs from when I last weighed myself. ARGH!!!
But - a lovely side effect of exercising is these little things called endorphins. They make you feel good. So even though the scale hasn't shown that I've lost any weight (I'm blaming it on the "muscle weighs more than fat" theory), in my mind, I've lost a bit of flab around my "muffin" and my belly.
My next venture in self image is what I call my Look Good/Feel Good campaign: If I put a little effort into how I dress, even for every day around the house, I feel better about myself. So I went through my closet and took all of my regular t-shirts and put them in the back corner of the closet (you know, the kind you get free for volunteering/buying something/souveniers, and are usually two sizes too big). Same with my old jeans. They are designated for cleaning/painting/gardening only. I put my "good" jeans (and even a couple skirts) and my nicer fitted t-shirts right up front for every day. Because, honestly, I dress up so little that I have clothes I have had for at least 5 years that still look new because I never wear them. (I know I have a sweater that I still wear that I've had at least since the winter I was going to school in KC.... 8 years ago. But that's kind of normal for me - my theory is why get rid of them if they still fit??)
But with this Look Good/Feel Good thing, I'm not the only one that benefits. My husband likes it when I look nice. Not that he says anything when I'm lounging around in my holey pajama pants and stained t-shirts, but he does notice when I have something on that accentuates my figure. So I feel good on two levels: I feel like I look nice, and I feel warm and fuzzy because my hubby told me I look nice.
I'm still going to excercise. I would like to lose about 15 pounds before I get pregnant again. I'm not sure of the likelihood of that, because even though I've given it my darndest with diet and exercise, my weight hasn't budged (more than a 3 or 4 pounds in either direction) in 3 years. And it doesn't move even when I'm not dieting and exercising, so maybe this is my "natural" weight.
But I'm definitely not going so far as to putting on makeup every day. That is beyond trying to look nice, and gets into the "self-inflicted torture" range.

1 comment:

carrie said...

the scale is evil. you should start with measuring inches. I wish I had. I wouldn't have felt like a loser. Because my scale didn't show any progress for a month. And it ONLY shows progress once a month after you know what. What a rip off.

If you can see a difference, then it's happening. Good job!

I need to get back in the swing of exercising before Gma Diana gets here and starts shoving bean and cheese tostadas down my throat every morning for breakfast.